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[Illustration: MOST EXTRAORDINARY.

_Dismounted Sportsman_. "NOW, HOW THE DEUCE DID MY HAT MANAGE TO GET
UP THERE?"]

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THE LATEST IN TELEGRAMS.

(_SEE DAILY PAPERS PASSIM._)

[ALL FROM THE RAZZLE-DAZZLE AGENCY.]

HUKIEWAUKIE, _February 28_.

An extraordinary incident has just stirred the heart of this populous
Western centre to its depths. Some fifteen years ago Colonel ZACHARY
B. DIBBS, one of the most prominent citizens of Hukiewaukie (then a
mere collection of log-huts), disappeared without leaving any address
to which his letters and papers were to be forwarded. Mrs. DIBBS,
who was then about to give birth to the seventh scion of the house of
DIBBS, was inconsolable, and ordered the fish-ponds in the vicinity to
be subjected to a rigorous scrutiny. All her conjugal efforts proved
fruitless, the missing Colonel was nowhere to be found, and, after a
decent interval spent in the wearing of widow's weeds, Mrs. DIBBS was
led to the local registrar's office by Sheriff's Deputy ORLANDO T.
STRUGGLES. Time went on, and five flourishing STRUGGLESES were added
by the former Mrs. DIBBS to the population of the town. On Thursday
last, however, Colonel DIBBS was discovered by his eldest son,
Mr. JERNIAH N. DIBBS, the well-known notary public, sitting in his
familiar seat in the Fifth Street Saloon, drinking rum-shrub out of a
tumbler. An explanation followed. Sheriff's Deputy STRUGGLES, in the
handsomest manner, offered to resign all claim to the possession of
the Colonel's spouse. The Colonel, however, would not hear of this.
Finally it was decided to spin a five-dollar green-back for the lady.
An inopportune gust of wind, however, carried off the fateful money,
and the momentous question is still undecided. The Colonel has
announced his intention of continuing a bachelor, even if he has to
fight the matter up to the Supreme Court, and a large majority of the
inhabitants of the town are willing to support him, with a view to
making this a test case.

MUNCHAUSENVILLE, _March 2_.

Yesterday, as one of the chief tiger-purveyors of this city was
engaged in exercising his _troupe_ of fiery, untamed tigers, in the
main street, two of the ferocious animals escaped from the string
which has usually been found sufficient for their confinement. A
general stampede of the inhabitants immediately followed, the majority
finding refuge in the bar of th