was going to be
as you came home from the Temple. Then we could have sent a telegram!

_Mr. F._ It seemed to be lifting then, and besides, I--ah--regard a
dinner-engagement as a species of kindly social contract, not to be
broken except under pressing necessity.

_Mrs. F._ You mean you heard me say there was nothing but cold
meat in the house, and you know you'll get a good dinner at the
CORDON-BLEWITTS,--not that we are likely to get there to-night. Have
you any idea whereabouts we are?

_Mr. F._ (_calmly_). None whatever.

_Mrs. F._ Then ask PEACOCK.

_Mr. F._ (_lets down his window, and leans out_). PEACOCK!

_The Shadow_. Sir?

_Mr. F._ Where have we got to now?

_Peacock_. I ain't rightly sure, Sir.

_Mrs. F._ Tell him to turn round, and go home.

_Mr. F._ It's no use going on like this. Turn back.

_Peacock_. I dursn't leave the kerb--all I got to go by, Sir.

_Mr. F._ Then take one of the lamps, and lead the horse.

_Peacock_. It's the _young_ 'orse, Sir.

_Mr. F._ (_sinking back_). We must put up with it, I suppose.

[_A smart crack is heard at the back of the carriage._

_More Voices_. Now, then, why the blanky dash, &c., &c.

_Mrs. F._ MARMADUKE, I can't sit here, and know that a bus-pole may
come between us at any moment. Let us get out, and take a cab home at
once.

_Mr. F._ There's only one objection to that suggestion--viz., that
it's perfectly impossible to tell a cab from a piano-organ. We must
find out where we are first, and then turn. PEACOCK, drive on as well
as you can, and stop when you come to a shop.

_Mrs. F._ What do you want to stop at a shop for?

_Mr. F._ Why, then I can go in, and ask where we _are_.

_Mrs. F._ And how do you expect _them_ to know where we are! (_She
sees a smear of light in the distance._) MARMADUKE, there's a linkman.
Get out quick, and hire him to lead the way.

_Mr. F._ (_who gets out, and follows in the direction of the light,
grumbling to himself_). Hallo!--not past the Park yet--here's the
railings! Well, if I keep close to them, I shall--(_He suddenly
collides with a bench._) Phew! Oh, confound it! (_He rubs his shins._)
Now, if it hadn't been for FANNY, I--Where's that linkman? Hi!--you
there!--stop! (_The light stops._) Look here--I want you to come to my
carriage, and show my man the way out of this!

_Voice from behind the Railings_. We got to find our _own_ way out
fust, Guv'nor. We're _inside_!

_A Belated Reveller_ (_lurchi