me with flagons! I was always mature. If you
knew what rot I think school is...! Well, anyway, you can begin.

HILDEGARDE. You're very polite to-day, Johnnie.

JOHN. Don't mention it. My argument 'll be the best, and I want to keep
it for the end, that's all.

HILDEGARDE. Thanks. But I bet you we shall both fail.

JOHN. Well, if we do, I've still got something else waiting for her
ladyship. A regular startler, my child.

HILDEGARDE. What is it?

_Enter_ Mrs. Culver, _back_.

JOHN (_to_ Hildegarde, _as_ Mrs. Culver _enters_). Wait and see.

MRS. CULVER (_cheerful and affectionate, to_ John). So you've come in.
(_To_ Hildegarde.) You _are_ back early to-day! Well, my darlings, what
do you want me for?

HILDEGARDE (_imitating her mothers manner_). Well, mamma darling, we
hate bothering you. We know you've got quite enough worries, without
having any more. But it's about this baronetcy business. (Mrs. Culver
_starts_.) Do be an angel and listen to us.

MRS. CULVER (_with admirable self-control_). Of course, my pet. But you
know the matter is quite, quite settled. Your father and I settled it
together last night, and the letter of acceptance is in the hands of the
Government by this time.

JOHN. It isn't, mater. It's here. (_Pulls the letter out of his
pocket_.)

MRS. CULVER. John! What--

JOHN. Now, now, mater! Keep calm. This is really your own doing. Pater
wanted to go to the post himself, but it was raining a bit, and you're
always in such a fidget about his getting his feet wet you wouldn't let
him go, and so I went instead.

HILDEGARDE. Yes, mummy darling, you must acknowledge that you were
putting temptation in Johnnie's way.

JOHN. Soon as I got outside, I said to myself: 'I think the pater ought
to have a night to think over this affair. It's very important. And he
can easily send round an answer by hand in the morning.' So I didn't
post the letter. I should have told you earlier, but you weren't down
for breakfast, and I had to go out afterwards on urgent private
business.

MRS. CULVER. But--but--(_Controlling herself, grieved, but kind_.) Your
father will be terribly angry. I daren't face him.

JOHN (_only half-suppressing his amusement at the last remark_). Don't
let that worry you. I'll face him. He'll be delighted. He'll write
another letter, and quite a different one.

MRS. CULVER (_getting firmer_). But don't I tell you, my dearest boy,
that the affair is settled, quite settled?

JOH