Madam, behind the curtain, only to hear in what kind of manner my
father and my mother debated between themselves, this affair of the
breeches,--from which you may form an idea, how they debated all lesser
matters.

Chapter 3.LX.

The ancient Goths of Germany, who (the learned Cluverius is positive)
were first seated in the country between the Vistula and the Oder, and
who afterwards incorporated the Herculi, the Bugians, and some other
Vandallick clans to 'em--had all of them a wise custom of debating every
thing of importance to their state, twice, that is,--once drunk, and
once sober:--Drunk--that their councils might not want vigour;--and
sober--that they might not want discretion.

Now my father being entirely a water-drinker,--was a long time gravelled
almost to death, in turning this as much to his advantage, as he did
every other thing which the ancients did or said; and it was not till
the seventh year of his marriage, after a thousand fruitless experiments
and devices, that he hit upon an expedient which answered the
purpose;--and that was, when any difficult and momentous point was to be
settled in the family, which required great sobriety, and great spirit
too, in its determination,--he fixed and set apart the first Sunday
night in the month, and the Saturday night which immediately preceded
it, to argue it over, in bed with my mother: By which contrivance, if
you consider, Sir, with yourself,.. ..

These my father, humorously enough, called his beds of justice;--for
from the two different counsels taken in these two different humours, a
middle one was generally found out which touched the point of wisdom as
well, as if he had got drunk and sober a hundred times.

I must not be made a secret of to the world, that this answers full as
well in literary discussions, as either in military or conjugal; but it
is not every author that can try the experiment as the Goths and Vandals
did it--or, if he can, may it be always for his body's health; and to do
it, as my father did it,--am I sure it would be always for his soul's.

My way is this:--

In all nice and ticklish discussions,--(of which, heaven knows, there
are but too many in my book)--where I find I cannot take a step without
the danger of having either their worships or their reverences upon
my back--I write one-half full,--and t'other fasting;--or write it all
full,--and correct it fasting;--or write it fasting,--and correct
it full, for they a