what it would have cost her if she had
actually carried out her threat.

***

A contemporary refers to "those abominable face-masks" now being worn
in London. Can this be a revival of the late Mr. RICHARDSON'S campaign
against the wearing of whiskers?

***

"A Court of Justice is not a place of amusement," said Mr. Justice
ROCHE at Manchester Assizes. Mr. Justice DARLING'S rejoinder is
eagerly awaited.

***

We are informed by "Hints for the Home," that "Salsify may be lifted
during the next few days." So may Susan, if you don't watch out.

***

So many safes have been stolen from business premises in London that
one enterprising man has hit upon the novel idea of putting a notice
on his safe, "Not to be Taken Away."

***

A sapper of the Royal Engineers who climbed the steeple of a parish
church and reached the clock told the local magistrates that he wanted
to see the dial. That, of course, is no real excuse in these days of
cheap wrist-watches.

***

By order of the Local Government Board influenza has been made a
notifiable disease. We sincerely hope that this will be a lesson to
it.

***

An evening paper suggests that the Albert Hall should be purchased by
the nation. We understand, however, that our contemporary has been
forestalled by a gentleman who has offered to take it on the condition
that a bathroom (h. and c.) is added.

***

A correspondent writes to a paper to ask if it is necessary to have a
licence to play the cornet in the streets. All that is necessary, we
understand, is a strong constitution and indomitable pluck.

***

We are asked to deny the foolish allegation that several M.P.s only
went into Parliament because they couldn't get sleeping accommodation
elsewhere.

***

In connection with the rush for trains on the Underground, an official
is reported to have said that things would be much better if everybody
undertook not to travel during the busiest hours.

***

An American journal advertises a lighthouse for sale. It is said to
be just the thing for tall men in search of a seaside residence.

***

The policeman who told the Islington bus-driver to take off his
influenza mask is going on as well as can be expected.

***

Pwllheli Town Council is reported to have refused the offer of a
German gun as a trophy. The Council is apparently piqued because it
was not aske