strength enough from his imperfections to enable me to
keep my passions under.--What can we do more than govern ourselves by the
temporary lights lent us?

You will not wonder that I am grave on this detection--Detection, must I
call it? What can I call it?--

Dissatisfied with myself, I am afraid to look back upon what I have
written: yet know not how to have done writing. I never was in such an
odd frame of mind.--I know not how to describe it.--Was you ever so?--
Afraid of the censure of her you love--yet not conscious that you deserve
it?

Of this, however, I am convinced, that I should indeed deserve censure,
if I kept any secret of my heart from you.

But I will not add another word, after I have assured you, that I will
look still more narrowly into myself: and that I am

Your equally sincere and affectionate
CL. HARLOWE.

LETTER IV

MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
SAT. EVENING.

I had a charming airing. No return of my malady. My heart was perfectly
easy, how could my stomach be otherwise?

But when I came home, I found that my sweet soul had been alarmed by a
new incident--The inquiry after us both, in a very suspicious manner, and
that by description of our persons, and not by names, by a servant in a
blue livery turn'd up and trimm'd with yellow.

Dorcas was called to him, as the upper servant; and she refusing to
answer any of the fellow's questions, unless he told his business, and
from whom he came, the fellow (as short as she) said, that if she would
not answer him, perhaps she might answer somebody else; and went away out
of humour.

Dorcas hurried up to her Lady, and alarmed her, not only with the fact,
but with her own conjectures; adding, that he was an ill-looking fellow,
and she was sure could come for no good.

The livery and the features of the servant were particularly inquired
after, and as particularly described--Lord bless her! no end of her
alarms, she thought! And then did her apprehensions anticipate every
evil that could happen.

She wished Mr. Lovelace would come in.

Mr. Lovelace came in soon after; all lively, grateful, full of hopes, of
duty, of love, to thank his charmer, and to congratulate with her upon
the cure she had performed. And then she told the story, with all its
circumstances; and Dorcas, to point her lady's fears, told us, that the
servant was a sun-burnt fellow, and looked as if he had been at sea.

He was then, no doubt, Captain Sin