when
my heart is lightened from the all-sinking weight of a father's curse!
When my dear mamma--You don't know, Sir, half the excellencies of my dear
mamma! and what a kind heart she has, when it is left to follow its own
impulses--When this blessed mamma shall once more fold me to her
indulgent bosom! When I shall again have uncles and aunts, and a brother
and sister, all striving who shall show most kindness and favour to the
poor outcast, then no more an outcast--And you, Mr. Lovelace, to behold
all this, with welcome--What though a little cold at first? when they
come to know you better, and to see you oftener, no fresh causes of
disgust occurring, and you, as I hope, having entered upon a new course,
all will be warmer and warmer love on both sides, till every one will
perhaps wonder, how they came to set themselves against you.'

Then drying her tears with her handkerchief, after a few moments pausing,
on a sudden, as if recollecting that she had been led by her joy to an
expression of it which she had not intended I should see, she retired to
her chamber with precipitation; leaving me almost as unable to stand it
as herself.

In short, I was--I want words to say how I was--my nose had been made to
tingle before; my eyes have before been made to glisten by this
soul-moving beauty; but so very much affected, I never was--for, trying
to check my sensibility, it was too strong for me, and I even sobbed--
Yes, by my soul, I audibly sobbed, and was forced to turn from her before
she had well finished her affecting speech.

I want, methinks, now I had owned the odd sensation, to describe it to
thee--the thing was so strange to me--something choking, as it were, in
my throat--I know not how--yet, I must needs say, though I am out of
countenance upon the recollection, that there was something very pretty
in it; and I wish I could know it again, that I might have a more perfect
idea of it, and be better able to describe it to thee.

But this effect of her joy on such an occasion gives me a high notion of
what that virtue must be [What other name can I call it?] which in a mind
so capable of delicate transport, should be able to make so charming a
creature, in her very bloom, all frost and snow to every advance of love
from the man she hates not. This must be all from education too--Must it
not, Belford? Can education have stronger force in a woman's heart than
nature?--Sure it cannot. But if it can, how entirely rig