e
invitation of the Drunkards' Society, in order to have yourself feted as
a man of science....

STRANGER (rising). But the government....

BEGGAR. Oh yes, the Committee of the Drunkards' Society have given you
their highest distinction--that order you've had to pay for yourself....

STRANGER. What about the professor?

BEGGAR. He only calls himself that; he's no professor really, though he
does give lessons. And the uniform that must have impressed you most was
that of a lackey in a chancellery.

STRANGER (tearing of the wreath and the ribbon of the order). Very well!
But who was the elderly man with the eyeglass?

BEGGAR. Your father-in-law!

STRANGER. Who got up this hoax?

BEGGAR. It's no hoax, it's quite serious. The professor came on behalf
of the Society, for so they call themselves, and asked you whether you'd
accept the fete. You accepted it; so it became serious!

(Two dirty-looking women carry in a dust-bin suspended from a stick and
set it down on the high table.)

FIRST WOMAN. If you're the man who makes gold, you might buy two
brandies for us.

STRANGER. What's this mean?

BEGGAR. It's the last part of the reception; and it's supposed to mean
that gold's mere rubbish.

STRANGER. If only that were true, rubbish could be exchanged for gold.

BEGGAR. Well, it's only the philosophy of the Society of Drunkards. And
you've got to take your philosophy where you find it.

SECOND WOMAN (sitting down next to the STRANGER). Do you recognise me?

STRANGER. No.

SECOND WOMAN. Oh, you needn't be embarrassed so late in the evening as
this!

STRANGER. You believe you're one of my victims? That I was amongst the
first hundred who seduced you?

SECOND WOMAN. No. It's not what you think. But I once came across a
printed paper, when I was about to be confirmed, which said that it was
a duty to oneself to give way to all desires of the flesh. Well, I grew
free and blossomed; and this is the fruit of my highly developed self!

STRANGER (rising). Perhaps I may go now?

WAITRESS (coming over with a bill). Yes. But the bill must be paid
first.

STRANGER. What? By me? I haven't ordered anything.

WAITRESS. I know nothing of that; but you're the last of the company to
have had anything.

STRANGER (to the BEGGAR). Is this all a part of the reception?

BEGGAR. Yes, certainly. And, as you know, everything costs money, even
honour....

STRANGER (taking a visiting card and handing it to the waitress).