at
becomes of your war, Sir?" (Mr. Bullion snaps his pipe in the vehemence
with which he brings his hand on the table, turns round the green
spectacles, and takes up Mr. Speck's pipe, which that gentleman had laid
aside in an unguarded moment.)

Vivian.--"But the campaign in India?"

Major MacBlarney.--"Oh! and if it's the Ingees you'd--"

Mr. Bullion (refilling Speck's pipe from Guy Bolding's exclusive
tobacco-pouch, and interrupting the Major).--"India,--that's another
matter; I don't object to that. War there,--rather good for the money
market than otherwise."

Vivian.--"What news there, then?"

Mr. Bullion.--"Don't know; have n't got India stock."

Mr. Speck.--"Nor I either. The day for India is over, this is our India
now." (Misses his tobacco-pipe; sees it in Bullion's mouth, and
stares aghast. N. B. The pipe is not a clay dudeen, but a small
meerschaum.--irreplaceable in Bushland.)

Pisistratus.--"Well, uncle, but I am at a loss to understand what new
scheme you have in hand. Something benevolent, I am sure; something for
your fellow-creatures,--for philanthropy and mankind?"

Mr. Bullion (starting).--"Why, young man, are you as green as all that?"

Pisistratus.--"I, sir? No; Heaven forbid! But my--" (Uncle Jack holds
up his forefinger imploringly, and spills his tea over the pantaloons of
his nephew!)

Pisistratus, wroth at the effect of the tea, and therefore obdurate to
the sign of the forefinger, continues rapidly, "But my uncle is! Some
Grand National-Imperial-Colonial-Anti-Monopoly--"

Uncle Jack.--"Pooh! pooh! What a droll boy it is!"

Mr. Bullion (solemnly).--"With these notions, which not even in jest
should be fathered on my respectable and intelligent friend here [Uncle
Jack bows], I am afraid you will never get on in the world, Mr. Caxton.
I don't think our speculations will suit you! It is growing late,
gentlemen; we must push on."

Uncle Jack (jumping up).--"And I have so much to say to the dear boy.
Excuse us,--you know the feelings of an uncle." (Takes my arm and leads
me out of the hut.)

Uncle Jack (as soon as we are in the air).--"You'll ruin us--you, me,
and your father and mother. Yes! What do you think I work and slave
myself for but for you and yours? Ruin us all. I say, if you talk
in that way before Bullion! His heart is as hard as the Bank of
England's,--and quite right he is too. Fellow-creatures,--stuff! I have
renounced that delusion,--the generous follies of my yout