, therefore, promiscuous, without any other view than
that of amusement; and though his pride was flattered by the advances
of the fair, whom he had captivated, he never harboured one thought of
proceeding beyond the limits of common gallantry, and carefully avoided
all particular explanations. But, what above all other enjoyments
yielded him the most agreeable entertainment, was the secret history of
characters, which he learned from a very extraordinary person, with whom
he became acquainted in this manner.

Being at the house of a certain lady on a visiting day, he was struck
with the appearance of an old man, who no sooner entered the room than
the mistress of the house very kindly desired one of the wits present to
roast the old put. This petit-maitre, proud of the employment, went up
to the senior, who had something extremely peculiar and significant
in his countenance, and saluting him with divers fashionable congees,
accosted him in these words: "Your servant, you old rascal. I hope to
have the honour of seeing you hanged. I vow to Gad! you look extremely
shocking, with these gummy eyes, lanthorn jaws, and toothless chaps.
What! you squint at the ladies, you old rotten medlar? Yes, yes, we
understand your ogling; but you must content yourself with a cook-maid,
sink me! I see you want to sit. These withered shanks of yours tremble
under their burden; but you must have a little patience, old Hirco!
indeed you must. I intend to mortify you a little longer, curse me!"

The company was so tickled with this address, which was delivered with
much grimace and gesticulation, that they burst out into a loud fit
of laughter, which they fathered upon a monkey that was chained in the
room; and, when the peal was over, the wit renewed the attack in these
words: "I suppose you are fool enough to think this mirth was occasioned
by Pug. Ay, there he is; you had best survey him; he is of your own
family; switch me. But the laugh was at your expense; and you ought
to thank Heaven for making you so ridiculous." While he uttered these
ingenious ejaculations, the old gentleman bowed alternately to him and
the monkey, that seemed to grin and chatter in imitation of the beau,
and, with an arch solemnity of visage, pronounced, "Gentlemen, as I have
not the honour to understand your compliments, they will be much better
bestowed on each other." So saying, he seated himself, and had the
satisfaction to see the laugh returned upon the aggr