es themselves
trembled when I was brought before them.

"I was once maimed by a carman, with whom I quarrelled, because he
ridiculed my leek on St. David's day; my skull was fractured by a
butcher's cleaver on the like occasion. I have been run through the body
five times, and lost the tip of my left ear by a pistol bullet. In a
rencontre of this kind, having left my antagonist for dead, I was wise
enough to make my retreat into France; and a few days after my arrival
at Paris, entering into conversation with some officers on the subject
of politics, a dispute arose, in which I lost my temper, and spoke so
irreverently of the Grand Monarque, that next morning I was sent to the
Bastille, by virtue of a lettre de cachet. There I remained for
some months, deprived of all intercourse with rational creatures;
a circumstance for which I was not sorry, as I had the more time to
project schemes of revenge against the tyrant who confined me, and the
wretch who had betrayed my private conversation. But tired, at length,
with these fruitless suggestions, I was fain to unbend the severity of
my thoughts by a correspondence with some industrious spiders, who had
hung my dungeon with their ingenious labours.

"I considered their work with such attention that I soon became an adept
in the mystery of weaving, and furnished myself with as many useful
observations and reflections on that art, as will compose a very curious
treatise, which I intend to bequeath to the Royal Society, for the
benefit of our woollen manufacture; and this with a view to perpetuate
my own name, rather than befriend my country; for, thank Heaven! I am
weaned from all attachments of that kind, and look upon myself as one
very little obliged to any society whatsoever. Although I presided
with absolute power over this long-legged community, and distributed
punishments and rewards to each, according to his deserts, I grew
impatient of my situation; and my natural disposition one day
prevailing, like a fire which had long been smothered, I wreaked the
fury of my indignation upon my innocent subjects, and in a twinkling
destroyed the whole race. While I was employed in this general massacre,
the turnkey, who brought me food, opened the door, and perceiving my
transport, shrugged up his shoulders, and leaving my allowance, went
out, pronouncing, Le pauvre diable! la tete lui tourne. My passion no
sooner subsided than I resolved to profit by this opinion of the jailor,