to-day, and what farce is being performed
now."

He crept softly up-stairs, and, opening the door of his room, closed it
again behind him quickly and gently. Gammer Gurton, who was in the room
adjoining, had heard nothing, seen nothing; and had the heavens come
tumbling down at that moment, she would have scarcely noticed it; for
she had eyes and sense only for this long, lank lackey who stood before
her shaking with fear, and staring at her out of his great bluish-white
eyes. Her whole soul lay in her tongue; and her tongue ran as fast as
a will-wheel, and with the force of thunder. How, then, could Gammer
Gurton well have time and ears to hear her master, who had softly
entered his chamber and slyly crept to the door, only half closed, which
separated his room from that of the housekeeper? "How!" screamed Gammer
Gurtoh, "you silly raga muffin, you wish to make me believe that it was
the cat that ran away with my sewing-needle, as if my sewing-needle were
a mouse and smelt of bacon, you stupid, blear-eyed fool!"

"Ah, you call me a fool," cried Hodge, with a laugh, which caused his
mouth to describe a graceful line across his face from ear to ear;
"you call me a fool, and that is a great honor for me, for then I am a
servant worthy of my master. And as to being blear-eyed, that must be
caused by the simple fact that I have nothing all day long before my
eyes but you, Gammer Gurton--you, with your face like a full moon--you,
sailing through the room like a frigate, and with your grappling-irons,
your hands, smashing to pieces everything except your own
looking-glass."

"You shall pay me for that, you double-faced, thread-bare lout!"
screamed Gammer Gurton, as she rushed on Hodge with clenched fist.

But John Heywood's cunning servant had anticipated this; he had already
slipped under the large table which stood in the middle of the room.
As the housekeeper now made a plunge to drag him out of his extemporary
fortress, he gave her such a hearty pinch on the leg, that she sprang
back with a scream, and sank, wholly overcome by the pain, into the
huge, leather-covered elbow-chair which was near her workstand at the
window.

"You are a monster, Hodge," groaned she, exhausted--"a heartless,
horrible monster. You have stolen my sewing-needle--you only. For you
knew very well that it was my last one, and that, if I have not that, I
must go at once to the shopkeeper to buy some needles. And that is just
what you want, yo