The Project Gutenberg EBook of I and My Chimney, by Herman Melville

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Title: I and My Chimney

Author: Herman Melville

Posting Date: December 11, 2008 [EBook #2694]
Release Date: July, 2001

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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I AND MY CHIMNEY

By Herman Melville

I and my chimney, two grey-headed old smokers, reside in the country.
We are, I may say, old settlers here; particularly my old chimney, which
settles more and more every day.

Though I always say, I AND MY CHIMNEY, as Cardinal Wolsey used to say,
"I AND MY KING," yet this egotistic way of speaking, wherein I
take precedence of my chimney, is hereby borne out by the facts; in
everything, except the above phrase, my chimney taking precedence of me.

Within thirty feet of the turf-sided road, my chimney--a huge, corpulent
old Harry VIII of a chimney--rises full in front of me and all my
possessions. Standing well up a hillside, my chimney, like Lord Rosse's
monster telescope, swung vertical to hit the meridian moon, is the first
object to greet the approaching traveler's eye, nor is it the last
which the sun salutes. My chimney, too, is before me in receiving the
first-fruits of the seasons. The snow is on its head ere on my hat; and
every spring, as in a hollow beech tree, the first swallows build their
nests in it.

But it is within doors that the pre-eminence of my chimney is most
manifest. When in the rear room, set apart for that object, I stand
to receive my guests (who, by the way call more, I suspect, to see
my chimney than me) I then stand, not so much before, as, strictly
speaking, behind my chimney, which is, indeed, the true host. Not that I
demur. In the presence of my betters, I hope I know my place.

From this habitual precedence of my chimney over me, some even think
that I have got into a sad rearward way altogether; in short, from
standing behind my old-fashioned chimney so much, I have got to be quite
behind the age too, as well as running behindhand in everything else.
But to tell the truth, I never was a very forward old fellow, nor what
my farming