s excellent
qualities, and then, after naming the very lowest price consistent
with common business principles, would run down the figure to
one-tenth or less, with a pause or two here and there for critical
comment on his audience, of which he professed to entertain the most
unfavourable opinion. Then with a final thump, punching the article
contemptuously, he would offer it, regardless of consequences, for
half his previous offer. Sometimes he refused to accept the money
because the customer was not quick enough. Neither might the people
examine his goods. He was master, and more, and found his account in
it. He took up a frowsy old gown. "There ye are. Ten shillin's worth
of stuff in that. An' ten for the makin'. An' that's twinty. I'll take
ten, an' I couldn't afford to take a penny less. Will ye have it?
Don't all spake at once. Ye won't. But I'll make ye. I'll take five
shillin', four, three, two, one, I'll take sixpence. (Thump.) Take it
away. Here! Have it for thruppence. Ye won't? Sweet bad luck to the
one of ye is worth thruppence. Ye wouldn't raise tuppence in the crowd
of ye. Ye want me to clothe ye for nothin'. An' thin ye'd want me to
give ye lodgin' and washin'. 'Twas a black day on me whin I come among
such a ruinatin' lot. Here now, sure this ought to timpt ye. A lady's
jacket, an' a large, big, roomy jacket at that--fit for a lady that
can ate a stone of praties at a male. Thurty shillin's ye'll be
offerin' me, but I won't take it. Ye can give me ten, av ye're only
quick enough. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two
shillin's. Eighteenpence. (Thump.) Take it for a shillin'! Ye won't?
Ye didn't sell yer ducks well. Ye didn't get the money for yer eggs.
Will I lind ye a trifle? What d'ye take me for? Am I to stand rammin'
me bargains down yer throats like wagon wheels? Do yez iver buy any
clothes at all, or do yez beg them? Me heart's bruk to pieces wid
blayguardin' and bullyraggin. Luk at this. A boy's coat. An it's lined
wid woollen linin'; that's the only fault wid it. An' here's a bonnet.
A fortin to any young woman. Will ye be plazed to take what ye want
for nothin'? Tis charity ye want, ye poor misguided crathurs. 'Tis a
pack of paupers I'm discoorsin', God help me."

The Armagh shopkeepers are prosperous and content. "No Home Rule,"
they say. They are no longer angry with the Nationalists. The snake is
scotched, if not killed outright, they think. The whole absurdity has
received such a