, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine
own hands.' Psalm 138:7, 8.

"I will no longer mourn over loss of memory; I think the Lord has
more than made it up to me by his sensible presence while hearing and
applying the sermon to my heart at the time; not only so, he
enlightens my understanding; it opens more to the elucidations of my
pastor; and though I forget the words and the order of his discourses,
I am instructed in the knowledge of the subject and the Scriptures in
general. Shall I deny the grace of God through fear or pride? I see it
not to be my duty. Can I attribute any thing to myself? No; shame and
confusion of face belong to me, for my carelessness and idleness in
the use of means during health and strength of body and mind. Never
has God dealt with me as I sinned, but according to his own mercy, and
in a way of great sovereignty. Let me record his great goodness, his
tender mercies, and bless his name.

"Old age is upon me, and some of its infirmities; my memory is
much impaired, and my mind in temporal things and subjects becomes
very desultory. Not so in spirituals: I think I not only hear and read
with more intense attention and prompt application, but my mind is
more disposed to meditation; and though I cannot remember much of the
sermons I hear, yet my mind is often furnished with happy and
profitable thoughts on the same subjects; and I find myself instructed
without remembering the instructions. This is evidently from the Lord.
It appears to me also that I have not lost the sensibility of youth. I
often shed tears, not only of compunction, but of gratitude. I seldom
commune without tears. I think much of death; am solemnized, but
not afraid.

"As far as I know, my confidence rests upon a
surety-righteousness, exclusive of every thing in myself. I am not
conscious of self-righteousness; I have no complacency in any thing
ever done by me. I not only believe that in all things I come short,
and that sin is mixed in all I do, because God hath said so, but am
sensible of the particular depravity. It is my sincere desire to be
stript of every thing that is mine--sins and duties laid in one
heap--and to be clothed in the surety-righteousness of my Redeemer;
all that is mine put to his account, and all that he did and suffered,
as the Mediator and surety of the covenant, to mine.

"I am afflicted with rheumatism, but God gives me patience,
disposes me to enumerate