list of friends
A solitary instance of a Bolo;
So that I've sometimes nursed a doubt
Whether there are such lots of them about.

But now, when that _Gazette_ in which I read
(To learn its views on any given matter
And so avoid 'em) hints that no such breed
Exists among us, save in idle chatter,
I am convinced the country reeks
With these unnatural and noisome freaks.

Only the worst are out for German pay;
Some claim ideals on the loftiest level;
Peace (and a fig for Honour) is their lay--
Peace and the Brotherhood of man and devil;
They love all sorts beneath the sun--
Even an Englishman; but best a Hun.

They save the choicest of their tears to shed
For those who break all laws divine and human;
They'd bid the dead past cover up its dead,
Forgetful of our murdered, child and woman;
Forgetful of our drowned who sleep
Without a grave beneath the wandering deep.

I know not how or when this War will close,
But this I know: unless my brain goes rotten,
Never will I clasp hand with hand of those,
False to their blood, who'd have these things forgotten,
Who want a peace untimely made
Before the uttermost account is paid.

Thirty years on, when weak with age, I might
Possibly talk to some repentant Teuton;
But, while I still can tell a knave at sight
And have enough of strength to keep a boot on,
Only in one way will I get
In touch with samples of the Bolo Set.

O.S.

* * * * *

THE CADET'S FRIEND.

MISUNDERSTOOD.--You were in the wrong. The custom of throwing
chicken-bones over the right shoulder is practised only in the mess of
the 13th Bavarian Landsturm Regiment. Still, considering that you had
only joined that day, we think your colonel acted hastily.

AS YOU WERE (and several other Correspondents).--The executive order
for the new combined movement of "About turn and left incline" is
given when the joint of the left big toe is opposite the right instep
(in Rifle regiments substitute right for left and left for right).

SUBALTERN.--Your company commander is without authority for reproving
you for shaving off your moustache. All the same, judging by the
photograph you enclose, we think you would be wise to keep as much of
your face covered as possible.

FIELD-MARSHAL'S BATON.--No, you are mistaken in supposing that a
private soldier under close arrest may spend two hours daily