-surrender.

* * * * *

THE FOOD OF THE FAMOUS.

The publication of Lord RHONDDA'S daily menu will, we hope, lead
other prominent people who are striving to follow his good example
to divulge the details of their dietary. But in case their natural
modesty may prevent them from doing so, Mr. Punch ventures to supply
a few unauthorised particulars.

The source of Mr. LLOYD GEORGE'S boundless energy has long been
a mystery. It is now known to be derived from a raw leek eaten
on rising, and a dinner of Welsh rabbit, made from a modicum of
Government cheese and half a slice of war bread.

With Mr. BONAR LAW all meals are oatmeals. A plate of porridge at
daybreak, bannocks slightly margarined, when possible, for lunch,
and a stiff cup of gruel just after Question time keep him alert and
smiling.

Thanks to the Spartan habits formed during his connection with both
services, belt-tightening has no terrors for Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL. A
quid of Navy tobacco suffices for breakfast, and his only other meal
consists of a slice of bully beef with a hard biscuit served on an
inverted packing-case.

The wild rumours recently current as to the amount of nutriment
required for the upkeep of Mr. G.K. CHESTERTON have now been happily
set at rest. The needful calories for twenty-four hours of his
strenuous existence are supplied by two cups of cocoa, a shred of
dried toast, a Brazil nut, a glass of sodawater and a grilled banana.

* * * * *

"In one case the good cows from one herd had an average
production of 9,592 lbs. milk, and 406 lbs. of fat, while
the poor cows had a production of only 3,098 lbs. of milk
and 119 lbs. of tea."--_Farming News_.

Give us the poor cows every time.

* * * * *

From a Church paper:--

"'EARLY CHRISTIANS.' I am sorry you cannot get these from
the Army and Navy Stores."

It sounds like the old tiger story.

* * * * *

"A certain company commander, looking out of his quarters, saw
several Germans in possession of a dump not far away. Although
still in his sleeping clothes, he seized his trench tick
and rushed towards them. Why they did not fire upon him is
one of those little mysteries which will probably never be
explained."--_Daily Paper_.

Unless by the learned author of _Minor Horrors of War_, who knows all
about