t himself be discouraged, asked
leave to stay and hear the reading of papers from the old chest, and
actually made himself useful in helping to decipher some difficult
German manuscript. This led him to suggest that it might be desirable
to make a transcription of the manuscript, and he offered his services
for this purpose, and also to make copies of any papers in Roman
characters. Though Ezra's young eyes he observed were getting weak, his
own were still strong. Deronda accepted the offer, thinking that
Lapidoth showed a sign of grace in the willingness to be employed
usefully; and he saw a gratified expression in Ezra's face, who,
however, presently said, "Let all the writing be done here; for I
cannot trust the papers out of my sight, lest there be an accident by
burning or otherwise." Poor Ezra felt very much as if he had a convict
on leave under his charge. Unless he saw his father working, it was not
possible to believe that he would work in good faith. But by this
arrangement he fastened on himself the burden of his father's presence,
which was made painful not only through his deepest, longest
associations, but also through Lapidoth's restlessness of temperament,
which showed itself the more as he become familiarized with his
situation, and lost any awe he had felt of his son. The fact was, he
was putting a strong constraint on himself in confining his attention
for the sake of winning Deronda's favor; and like a man in an
uncomfortable garment he gave himself relief at every opportunity,
going out to smoke, or moving about and talking, or throwing himself
back in his chair and remaining silent, but incessantly carrying on a
dumb language of facial movement or gesticulation: and if Mirah were in
the room, he would fall into his old habit of talk with her, gossiping
about their former doings and companions, or repeating quirks and
stories, and plots of the plays he used to adapt, in the belief that he
could at will command the vivacity of his earlier time. All this was a
mortal infliction to Ezra; and when Mirah was at home she tried to
relieve him, by getting her father down into the parlor and keeping
watch over him there. What duty is made of a single difficult resolve?
The difficulty lies in the daily unflinching support of consequences
that mar the blessed return of morning with the prospect of irritation
to be suppressed or shame to be endured. And such consequences were
being borne by these, as by many oth