cordially rejoiced in that
prospect. Altogether, the journey was continued and ended with mutual
liking between the male fellow-travellers.

Meanwhile Gwendolen sat by like one who had visited the spirit-world
and was full to the lips of an unutterable experience that threw a
strange unreality over all the talk she was hearing of her own and the
world's business; and Mrs. Davilow was chiefly occupied in imagining
what her daughter was feeling, and in wondering what was signified by
her hinted doubt whether she would accept her husband's bequest.
Gwendolen in fact had before her the unsealed wall of an immediate
purpose shutting off every other resolution. How to scale the wall? She
wanted again to see and consult Deronda, that she might secure herself
against any act he would disapprove. Would her remorse have maintained
its power within her, or would she have felt absolved by secrecy, if it
had not been for that outer conscience which was made for her by
Deronda? It is hard to say how much we could forgive ourselves if we
were secure from judgment by another whose opinion is the
breathing-medium of all our joy--who brings to us with close pressure
and immediate sequence that judgment of the Invisible and Universal
which self-flattery and the world's tolerance would easily melt and
disperse. In this way our brother may be in the stead of God to us, and
his opinion which has pierced even to the joints and marrow, may be our
virtue in the making. That mission of Deronda to Gwendolen had begun
with what she had felt to be his judgment of her at the gaming-table.
He might easily have spoiled it:--much of our lives is spent in marring
our own influence and turning others' belief in us into a widely
concluding unbelief which they call knowledge of the world, while it is
really disappointment in you or me. Deronda had not spoiled his mission.

But Gwendolen had forgotten to ask him for his address in case she
wanted to write, and her only way of reaching him was through Sir Hugo.
She was not in the least blind to the construction that all witnesses
might put on her giving signs of dependence on Deronda, and her seeking
him more than he sought her: Grandcourt's rebukes had sufficiently
enlightened her pride. But the force, the tenacity of her nature had
thrown itself into that dependence, and she would no more let go her
hold on Deronda's help, or deny herself the interview her soul needed,
because of witnesses, than if she ha