while. Sir Hugo had begun to talk of the
Grandcourts as the less difficult subject between himself and Deronda;
but they were both wishing to overcome a reluctance to perfect
frankness on the events which touched their relation to each other.
Deronda felt that his letter, after the first interview with his
mother, had been rather a thickening than a breaking of the ice, and
that he ought to wait for the first opening to come from Sir Hugo. Just
when they were about to lose sight of the port, the baronet turned, and
pausing as if to get a last view, said in a tone of more serious
feeling--"And about the main business of your coming to Genoa, Dan? You
have not been deeply pained by anything you have learned, I hope? There
is nothing that you feel need change your position in any way? You
know, whatever happens to you must always be of importance to me."
"I desire to meet your goodness by perfect confidence, sir," said
Deronda. "But I can't answer those questions truly by a simple yes or
no. Much that I have heard about the past has pained me. And it has
been a pain to meet and part with my mother in her suffering state, as
I have been compelled to do, But it is no pain--it is rather a clearing
up of doubts for which I am thankful, to know my parentage. As to the
effect on my position, there will be no change in my gratitude to you,
sir, for the fatherly care and affection you have always shown me. But
to know that I was born a Jew, may have a momentous influence on my
life, which I am hardly able to tell you of at present."
Deronda spoke the last sentence with a resolve that overcame some
diffidence. He felt that the differences between Sir Hugo's nature and
his own would have, by-and-by, to disclose themselves more markedly
than had ever yet been needful. The baronet gave him a quick glance,
and turned to walk on. After a few moments' silence, in which he had
reviewed all the material in his memory which would enable him to
interpret Deronda's words, he said--
"I have long expected something remarkable from you, Dan; but, for
God's sake, don't go into any eccentricities! I can tolerate any man's
difference of opinion, but let him tell it me without getting himself
up as a lunatic. At this stage of the world, if a man wants to be taken
seriously, he must keep clear of melodrama. Don't misunderstand me. I
am not suspecting you of setting up any lunacy on your own account. I
only think you might easily be led arm in ar
|