he had set the whole neighbourhood together by the
ears; and this was the only diversion she took pleasure in. She never
went abroad, but she brought home such a bundle of monstrous lies, as
would have amazed any mortal, but such as know her: of a whale that had
swallowed a fleet of ships; of the lions being let out of the Tower,
to destroy the Protestant religion; of the Pope's being seen in a
brandy-shop at Wapping; and a prodigious strong man that was going to
shove down the cupola of St. Paul's; of three millions of five pound
pieces that Squire South had found under an old wall; of blazing stars,
flying dragons, and abundance of such stuff. All the servants in the
family made high court to her, for she domineered there, and turned out
and in whom she pleased; only there was an old grudge between her and
Sir Roger, whom she mortally hated and used to hire fellows to squirt
kennel water upon him as he passed along the streets; so that he was
forced constantly to wear a surtout of oiled cloth, by which means he
came home pretty clean, except where the surtout was a little scanty.

* Discordia.

** Coffee-house tattle.

As for the third* she was a thief and a common mercenary. She had no
respect of persons: a prince or a porter was all one, according as they
paid; yea, she would leave the finest gentleman in the world to go to an
ugly fellow for sixpence more. In the practice of her profession she
had amassed vast magazines of all sorts of things: she had above five
hundred suits of fine clothes, and yet went abroad like a cinder wench.
She robbed and starved all the servants, so that nobody could live near
her.

* Usuria.

So much for John's three daughters, which you will say were rarities
to be fond of. Yet Nature will shew itself. Nobody could blame their
relations for taking care of them, and therefore it was that Hocus, with
two other of the guardians, thought it their duty to take care of the
interest of the three girls and give John their best advice before he
compounded the lawsuit.

HOCUS.--What makes you so shy of late, my good friend? There's nobody
loves you better than I, nor has taken more pains in your affairs. As
I hope to be saved I would do anything to serve you; I would crawl upon
all fours to serve you; I have spent my health and paternal estate in
your service. I have, indeed, a small pittance left, with which I might
retire, and with as good a conscience as any man; but the