, and the carriage of my goods
during the
time of this lawsuit..
For the extraordinary expenses of feeding my family during this
lawsuit..
To Major Ab...
To Major Will...

And summing all up, found due upon the balance by John Bull to Nic.
Frog, 9 pounds 4 shillings and 6 pence.

JOHN BULL.--As for your venire facias, I have paid you for one already;
in the other I believe you will be nonsuited. I'll take care of my
nephew myself. Your coach-hire and family charges are most unreasonable
deductions; at that rate, I can bring in any man in the world my debtor.
But who the devil are those two majors that consume all my money? I find
they always run away with the balance in all accounts.

NIC. FROG.--Two very honest gentlemen, I assure you, that have done
me some service. To tell you plainly, Major Ab. denotes thy greater
ability, and Major Will. thy greater willingness to carry on this
lawsuit. It was but reasonable thou shouldst pay both for thy power and
thy positiveness.

JOHN BULL.--I believe I shall have those two honest majors' discount on
my side in a little time.

NIC. FROG.--Why all this higgling with thy friend about such a paltry
sum? Does this become the generosity of the noble and rich John Bull? I
wonder thou art not ashamed. Oh, Hocus! Hocus! where art thou? It used
to go another-guess manner in thy time. When a poor man has almost
undone himself for thy sake, thou art for fleecing him, and fleecing
him. Is that thy conscience, John?

JOHN BULL.--Very pleasant, indeed! It is well known thou retainest thy
lawyers by the year, so a fresh lawsuit adds but little to thy expenses;
they are thy customers;* I hardly ever sell them a farthing's-worth of
anything. Nay, thou hast set up an eating-house, where the whole tribe
of them spend all they can rap or run. If it were well reckoned, I
believe thou gettest more of my money than thou spendest of thy own.
However, if thou wilt needs plead poverty, own at least that thy
accounts are false.

* The money spent in Holland and Flanders.

NIC. FROG.--No, marry won't I; I refer myself to these honest
gentlemen--let them judge between us. Let Esquire South speak his mind,
whether my accounts are not right, and whether we ought not to go on
with our lawsuit.

JOHN BULL.--Consult the butchers about keeping of Lent. Dost think that
John Bull will be tried by piepowders? I tell you, once for all, John
Bull knows where his shoe pinches.