None of your esquires shall give him
the law as long as he wears this trusty weapon by his side, or has an
inch of broadcloth in his shop.

NIC. FROG.--Why, there it is: you will be both judge and party. I am
sorry thou discoverest so much of thy headstrong humour before these
strange gentlemen; I have often told thee it would prove thy ruin
some time or other. Let it never be said that the famous John Bull has
departed in despite of Court.

JOHN BULL.--And will it not reflect as much on thy character, Nic., to
turn barretter in thy old days--a stirrer-up of quarrels amongst thy
neighbours? I tell thee, Nic., some time or other thou wilt repent this.

But John saw clearly he should have nothing but wrangling, and that he
should have as little success in settling his accounts as ending the
composition. "Since they will needs overload my shoulders," quoth John,
"I shall throw down the burden with a squash amongst them, take it up
who dares. A man has a fine time of it amongst a combination of sharpers
that vouch for one another's honesty. John, look to thyself; old Lewis
makes reasonable offers. When thou hast spent the small pittance that
is left, thou wilt make a glorious figure when thou art brought to live
upon Nic. Frog and Esquire South's generosity and gratitude. If they use
thee thus when they want thee, what will they do when thou wantest them?
I say again, John, look to thyself."

John wisely stifled his resentments, and told the company that in a
little time he should give them law, or something better.

ALL.--*Law! law! sir, by all means. What is twenty-two poor years
towards the finishing a lawsuit? For the love of God, more law, sir!

* Clamours for continuing the war.

JOHN BULL.--Prepare your demands how many years more of law you want,
that I may order my affairs accordingly. In the meanwhile, farewell.

CHAPTER XVII. How John Bull found all his Family in an Uproar at Home.*

Nic. Frog, who thought of nothing but carrying John to the market, and
there disposing of him as his own proper goods, was mad to find that
John thought himself now of age to look after his own affairs. He
resolved to traverse this new project, and to make him uneasy in his own
family. He had corrupted or deluded most of his servants into the most
extravagant conceits in the world: that their master was run mad, and
wore a dagger in one pocket and poison in the other; that he had sold
his wife and children to Lewis,