of my Chamber
to look at it. I have always wanted a horse, but I cannot see that I
deserve this one, having but done what any member of the G. A. C. should
do.

As I now have a horse, perhaps the Corps should become Cavalry. Memo:
Take this up with Jane.

LATER: Carter Brooks has just gone, and I have a terrable headache owing
to weeping, which always makes my head ache.

He has gone to the War.

I cannot write more.

10 P. M. I can now think better, although still weeping at intervals.
I must write down all that has happened, as I do not feel like telling
Jane, or indeed anybody.

Always before I have had no Secrets from Jane, even in matters of the
Other Sex. But I feel very strange about this and like thinking about it
rather than putting it into speach.

Also I feel very kind toward everybody, and wish that I had been a
better girl in many ways. I have tried to be good, and have never smoked
cigarettes or been decietful except when forced to be by the Familey not
understanding. But I know I am far from being what Carter Brooks thinks
me to be.

I have called Hannah and given her my old watch, with money to for a new
chrystal. Also stood by at Salute while my father brought in the Emblem.
For William can no longer do it, as he was not really a Butler at all
but a Secret Service Inspector, and also being still in the Hospital,
although improving.

He had not told the Familey, as he was afraid they would not then treat
him as a real Butler. As for the code in the pantrey, it was really not
such, but the silver list, beginning with 48 D. K. or dinner knives,
etcetera. When taking my Father's Dispach Case from the safe, it was to
keep the real Spies from getting it. He did it every night, and took the
important papers out until morning, when he put them back.

To-night my father brought in the Emblem and folded it. He then said:

"Well, I admit that Fathers are not real Substatutes for young men in
Unaform, but in times of Grief they may be mighty handy to tie to." He
then put his arms around me and said: "You see, Bab, the real part of
War, for a woman--and you are that now, Bab, in spite of your years--the
real thing she has to do is not the fighting part, although you are
about as good a soldier as any I know. The thing she has to do is to
send some one she cares about, and then sit back and wait."

As he saw that I was agatated, he then kissed me and sugested that we
learn something more than the