maddening when we think of it--of that infinite defile of little
hurrying seconds, which nibble at the body and the life of men.
After these miserable nights, she had long periods of somnolence that
made her more tranquil, in the warmth of her bed, when her maid had
opened the curtains and lighted the morning fire. She lay there tired,
drowsy, neither awake nor asleep, in the torpor of thought which brings
about the revival of that instinctive and providential hope which gives
light and life to the hearts of men up to their last days.
Every morning now, as soon as she had risen from her bed, she felt moved
by a powerful desire to pray to God, to obtain from Him a little relief
and consolation.
She would kneel, then, before a large figure of Christ carved in oak, a
gift from Olivier, a rare work he had discovered; and, with lips
closed, but imploring with that voice of the soul with which we speak to
ourselves, she lifted toward the Divine martyr a sorrowful supplication.
Distracted by the need of being heard and succored, naive in her
distress, as are all faithful ones on their knees, she could not doubt
that He heard her, that He was attentive to her request, and was perhaps
touched at her grief. She did not ask Him to do for her that which He
never had done for anyone--to leave her until death all her charm, her
freshness and grace; she begged only a little repose, a little respite.
She must grow old, of course, just as she must die. But why so soon?
Some women remain beautiful so long! Could He not grant that she should
be one of these? How good He would be, He who had also suffered so much,
if only He would let her keep for two or three years still the little
charm she needed in order to be pleasing.
She did not say these things to Him, of course, but she sighed them
forth, in the confused plaint of her being.
Then, having risen, she would sit before her toilet-table, and with
a tension of thought as ardent as in her prayer, she would handle the
powders, the pastes, the pencils, the puffs and brushes, which gave her
once more a plaster-like beauty, fragile, lasting only for a day.
CHAPTER VI
THE ASHES OF LOVE
On the Boulevard two names were heard from all lips: "Emma Helsson" and
"Montrose." The nearer one approached the Opera, the oftener he heard
those names repeated. Immense posters, too, affixed to the Morris
columns, announced them in the eyes of passers, and in the evening air
could be fel
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