ometimes I felt that I could not sympathise with the glad faces and
happy hearts of those who were looking forward to the delights of
home, and the joy of seeing once more the old familiar faces
remembered so fondly in the fearful trenches and the hard-fought
battle-fields. Now and then we would see a lounger with a blank face,
taking no interest in the bustle of departure, and with him I
acknowledged to have more fellow-feeling than with the others, for he,
as well as I, clearly had no home to go to. He was a soldier by choice
and necessity, as well as by profession. He had no home, no loved
friends; the peace would bring no particular pleasure to him, whereas
war and action were necessary to his existence, gave him excitement,
occupation, the chance of promotion. Now and then, but seldom,
however, you came across such a disappointed one. Was it not so with
me? Had I not been happy through the months of toil and danger, never
knowing what fear or depression was, finding every moment of the day
mortgaged hours in advance, and earning sound sleep and contentment by
sheer hard work? What better or happier lot could possibly befall me?
And, alas! how likely was it that my present occupation gone, I might
long in vain for another so stirring and so useful. Besides which, it
was pretty sure that I should go to England poorer than I left it,
and although I was not ashamed of poverty, beginning life again in
the autumn--I mean late in the summer of life--is hard up-hill work.

Peace concluded, the little jealousies which may have sprung up
between the French and their allies seemed forgotten, and every one
was anxious, ere the parting came, to make the most of the time yet
left in improving old friendships and founding new. Among others, the
47th, encamped near the Woronzoff Road, gave a grand parting
entertainment to a large company of their French neighbours, at which
many officers of high rank were present. I was applied to by the
committee of management to superintend the affair, and, for the last
time in the Crimea, the health of Madame Seacole was proposed and duly
honoured. I had grown so accustomed to the honour that I had no
difficulty in returning thanks in a speech which Colonel B----
interpreted amid roars of laughter to the French guests.

As the various regiments moved off, I received many acknowledgments
from those who thought they owed me gratitude. Little presents, warm
farewell words, kind letters full of gr