ot take
long; and that done, I laid the same pertinacious siege to his great
house in ---- Square, as I had previously done to his place of
business.

Many a long hour did I wait in his great hall, while scores passed in
and out; many of them looking curiously at me. The flunkeys, noble
creatures! marvelled exceedingly at the yellow woman whom no excuses
could get rid of, nor impertinence dismay, and showed me very clearly
that they resented my persisting in remaining there in mute appeal
from their sovereign will. At last I gave that up, after a message
from Mrs. H. that the full complement of nurses had been secured, and
that my offer could not be entertained. Once again I tried, and had an
interview this time with one of Miss Nightingale's companions. She
gave me the same reply, and I read in her face the fact, that had
there been a vacancy, I should not have been chosen to fill it.

As a last resort, I applied to the managers of the Crimean Fund to
know whether they would give me a passage to the camp--once there I
would trust to something turning up. But this failed also, and one
cold evening I stood in the twilight, which was fast deepening into
wintry night, and looked back upon the ruins of my last castle in the
air. The disappointment seemed a cruel one. I was so conscious of the
unselfishness of the motives which induced me to leave England--so
certain of the service I could render among the sick soldiery, and yet
I found it so difficult to convince others of these facts. Doubts and
suspicions arose in my heart for the first and last time, thank
Heaven. Was it possible that American prejudices against colour had
some root here? Did these ladies shrink from accepting my aid because
my blood flowed beneath a somewhat duskier skin than theirs? Tears
streamed down my foolish cheeks, as I stood in the fast thinning
streets; tears of grief that any should doubt my motives--that Heaven
should deny me the opportunity that I sought. Then I stood still, and
looking upward through and through the dark clouds that shadowed
London, prayed aloud for help. I dare say that I was a strange sight
to the few passers-by, who hastened homeward through the gloom and
mist of that wintry night. I dare say those who read these pages will
wonder at me as much as they who saw me did; but you must all remember
that I am one of an impulsive people, and find it hard to put that
restraint upon my feelings which to you is so easy and natur