Kilimanjaro!

O.S.

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"With the use of the various kinds of periscopes we could see
quite clearly every movement on the German side, and even hear
them talking."--_Daily Chronicle._

Try our new periscope, with telephone-attachment.

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From a sale catalogue:--

"Remains of Summer Waistcoats, from 3/11."

Nothing doing. Our motto is _Vestigia nulla retrorsum_.

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UNWRITTEN LETTERS TO THE KAISER.

No. XXXVI.

(_From Herr WOLFGANG OFFENMAUL, an actor_).

Most Gracious Majesty,--How strangely and uncomfortably the Fates sport
with us! It is but two years ago, I remember, that it came into my head
to look forward to the far-off day when I should shake off the stage and
all its agitations, its triumphs, its disappointments and even its
jealousies and its quarrels, and should be able to live my own life in
the pleasant and happy world of reality. But I put the thought by, for
much still remained to me to be endured and achieved in my profession,
and I thought that some day, if matters turned out favourably, I might
have the supreme glory of impersonating _Hamlet_ or _Macbeth_ under the
very eye of your Imperial Majesty and of noting that you were not
displeased with the performance of one of the most devoted of your
subjects. This hope, springing up in my breast, gave me new strength and
a fresh joy in the often dull round of my daily task, for in matters of
the stage your Majesty, being, as we often say among ourselves, the
greatest actor of us all and having from the earliest years imbibed the
love of the footlights and the limelight, is an incomparable judge of
the true histrionic art, and a word of praise from you is worth columns
and columns in the newspapers. It is to us as when a cobbler's boots are
praised by a rival cobbler.

And there is another point which then kept me from giving way any
further to my dreams of retirement from the theatre. Real life, so calm
for the most part and so regular, is but a dull thing to those who live
a fictitious life on the boards, in the midst of excitements and honour
and crimes, with murder and sudden death awaiting them, as it were,
round the corner. After _Hamlet_ has seen his mother's death, has killed
_Laertes_ and the _King_ and has himself expired, what is it to him to
come to life again and to sit down, wi