one than to have to wake them up.'"--_Scottish Paper._

* * * * *

"The Council of the Poetry Society has confirmed the appointment
of Mr. Galloway Kyle as acting editor of the 'Poultry Review.'"

Now that official action has been taken we may expect an increase in the
number of lays.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Exhilarated Visitor_ (_leaving Club_). "The feller who
caught that fish's dem liar."]

* * * * *

EYE-WASH.

(_A Military Episode in Two Scenes_.)

Scene I.--_The outskirts of a wood. Time, during an inspection of our
Battalion "at its duties."_

Second-Lieutenant Wood _and his platoon are erecting a wire
entanglement. To them enter_ Second-Lieutenant Brown _in great
excitement_.

S.-L. _Brown_. I say----

S.-L. Wood. Run away, dear. No time for you. Brass hats expected in
large numbers.

S.-L. B. I've lost my platoon.

S.-L. W. Have you looked in _all_ your pockets, Freddy?

S.-L. B. I sent it up under the Sergeant, and he must have mistaken the
place, strafe him! And I told the Adjutant I'd be the other side of this
wood, doing Visual Training, when the General came round.

S.-L. W. (_impressed at last_). My hat, you're in for it! Look out, here
they come.

Second-Lieutenant Brown _fades into the landscape_.

_Enter the_ General _and the_ C.O., _with_ Staff-Captain, Adjutant _and_
Sergeant-Major. _The Platoon labours on and takes no notice_.
Second-Lieutenant Wood _comes to attention and salutes_. _The_ General
_remarks on the fine physique of the men, inspects the wire entanglement
and explains how_ _he used to do it when he was a subaltern_. Private
Hogg, _a recruit unused to Generals, stands gazing awestruck, but
catches the_ Adjutant's _eye and, gets on feverishly with his work. The
cortege passes on, and the platoon heaves a sigh of relief and stands
easy._

_Re-enter_ Second-Lieutenant Brown.

_S.-L. W._ Go away, my good man; we've nothing for you.

_S.-L. B._ I say, like a good chap----_They confer earnestly._ Curtain.

Scene II.--_The other side of the wood. Time, two minutes later._

_Enter_ Second-Lieutenant Brown _at the double with_ Second-Lieutenant
Wood's _platoon. He hurriedly gets it to work at Visual Training._

_Enter_ General, _with suite as before. The platoon carries on, taking
no notice._ Second-Lieutenant Brown _comes to attention and salutes.
The_ Gener