husband's
title. He is Dr. Brown; she is Mrs. Brown. Mrs. General, Mrs. Judge, are
not current in polite circles.

We do not use "Sir" in addressing equals. Children no longer say "sir" or
"ma'am" to their parents, but "Yes, father," or "No mother." Ma'am is
seldom heard now except from old-fashioned servants. Maids and
men-servants say "yes, Mrs. Smith," or sometimes, "No, madam."

Courtesy in Conversation.--"Things said for conversation are chalk eggs,"
said Emerson. There are many chalk eggs on the market. Most of us feel
that to "be sociable" we must talk incessantly. True, there are sometimes
dreadful pauses in conversation when no one seems able to think of
anything to say, and the longer the pause the more vacuous one's mind.

What passes for conversation at receptions, dinners, ordinary social
affairs, is merely chatter made up, of persiflage and repartee. One must
be able to furnish it, however, for small talk is conversational "small
change," without which it is not easy to "do business." Lacking it, one is
like Mark Twain's man with the million dollar check and not change enough
to buy a postage stamp.

[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 775]

SUBJECTS OF CONVERSATION.

No one can tell another person what to talk about. Advice on that subject
is valueless. There are some things we may do, however, to make ourselves
agreeable in conversation. We may study the art of expressing ourselves
clearly,--saying what we wish to say without circumlocution. Some people
seem to begin in the middle of a subject and talk both ways.

Avoid personalities in your conversation. Don't talk about yourself;
nobody is interested in your personal perplexities and troubles. Don't
recite your "symptoms" nor tell what the doctor says, nor what diet he has
prescribed. Nothing, positively nothing, is so tiresome. Don't indulge in
animadversions upon the absent, nor make sarcastic remarks about them.

Try to discover some subject in which your companion is interested, and
get him to talking. Then show yourself a good listener. A woman may get
the reputation of being bright and clever if she will simply show herself
a good listener. To do this, she must give her attention to the person who
is talking. She must seem interested. Her eyes must not wander around the
room; she must not take up picture or book and glance over it; her
questions must be intelligent and to the point. Then, unless the speaker
is a well-known bore, she need neve