ave twins born to me this nite, I
shood name em both Policy."

"Wich State are yoo from?" sed he, half asleep.

"From Kentucky, honered and spected sir," sed I.

"Well," sed he, yawnin feerfully, and turnin to a clerk, "FILL OUT A
PARDON, AND GIVE HIM A COMMISSION!"

"Honered and spected sir," sed I, in a fit of loonacy for wich I can't
account, "I don't need a pardon. I wuz never in the late lamented
Confedrit servis."

"What'n thunder, then, are yoo here for, beggin a post offis? Git out,
yoo imposter!" and I wuz too wunst ignominiously showed to the door. I
didn't quite understand the lay uv the land around the White House.

In vane I tried to git back, that I might convince him I did ez much for
the Confederasy ez my humble abilities permitted, and that I needed
consiliatin ez badly ez anybody. Then, hart broke and dead broke, not
heving the wherewith to prokoor more sootable lodgin, I lay me down on
the cold stun steps, and sought refuge from my troubles in sleep.

I dreemed a dream. Methawt I wuz in a room in the White House. Stretched
out on one side uv the room wuz the corpse uv a giant, a monster in size
and strength, but withal uv a pleasin presence, and fair to look upon.
Onto its head was a liberty cap, and by its side wuz a sword,
considerably dinted, and with all the gildin knocked off.

"Wat is these?" sed I, pointin to the corpse, askin a sort uv a
attendant.

"Them," replied he, "is the defunct carcass uv Republikinism. He was a
hefty yooth in his day, but he died this mornin. Look! the mourners are
a comin to divide his clothes."

And shoor enuff, they came in. At the head wuz the second Jaxon, which
the Ablishnists derisively call Moses, who appeared to be angry, and
clost behind him wuz Seward, a weepin out uv one eye, and a smilin out
uv tother, and Jim Lane, who hed a handkercher wich he occasionally put
to his eyes, but wich I notist wuz ez dry ez a lime kiln, and Doolittle,
and Lee, and Raymond, and Beauregard, and Cowan, and Stephens, and
Thurlow Weed, and Vallandigham, and Governor Sharkey, and a host uv
others, all uv wich ranged theirselves around the bier.

"He wuz a promisin yooth," sed Seward, a puttin his handkercher to his
eyes, "but the atmosphere uv the White House wuz too much for him. I
insist, however," sed he, a pocketin the handkercher, and takin hold uv
a trinket the corpse held in his hand, labelled "Presidency, 1868," from
which hung mor'n a million uv smaller trin