wed her fears by any entreaty,
and gesture, or any sigh.

As the people in the South say, she would have acted the brave woman,
and boasted, so that no complaint might betray her, and have imparted
the wild tenderness of a jealous heart to her kisses, and have attempted
a struggle, which would certainly have been useless, against those
recollections of mine, with which she thought I must be filled, in spite
of myself.

I accused myself, so that I might no longer accuse her. I studied my
malady; I knew quite well that I was wrong, and I wished to be wrong, I
measured the stupidity and the disgrace of such suspicions, and,
nevertheless, in spite of everything, they assailed me again, watched me
traitorously and I was carried away and devoured by them.

Ah! Was there in the whole world, even among the most wretched beggars
that were dying of starvation, whom nature squeezes in a vice, as it
were, or among the victims of love, anybody who could say that he was
more wretched than I?

PART XIV

This morning Count de Saulnac, who was lunching here, told us a terrible
story of a rape, for which a man is to be tried in a few days.

A charming girl of eighteen grew languid, and became so pale and morose,
her cheeks were so wax-like, her eyes so sunken and she had altogether
such a look of anemia, that her parents grew uneasy and took her to a
doctor who lived near them. He examined her carefully, said vaguely what
was the matter with her, spoke of an illness that required assiduous
care and attention, and advised the worthy couple to bring the poor girl
to him every day for a month.

As they were not well off enough to keep a servant, and each had their
work to attend to, the husband as an employee in a public office and his
wife as cashier in a milliner's shop, and did not dream of any evil, and
were further reassured by the charitable, unctuous and austere looks of
the doctor, they allowed their daughter to go and consult him by
herself.

The old man made much of her, tried to make her get over her shyness,
adroitly made her tell him all about her usual life, took a long time in
sounding her chest, helped her to dress and undress, in a very paternal
way, gave her a potion and was so thoughtful and caressing, that the
poor girl blushed and felt quite uncomfortable at it all. He soon saw
that he should obtain nothing from her innocence, but that she would
resist his slightest attempts at improper familiarity, and as h