ts; and in order to show him that we really were his children, and
not the kind of men to shrink from danger, we used to march right up to
great blackguards of cannon which bellowed and vomited balls without so
much as saying "Look out!" Even dying men had the nerve to raise their
heads and salute him with the cry of "Long live the Emperor!" Was that
natural? Would they have done that for a mere man?

Well, when he had settled all his folks comfortably, the Empress
Josephine--who was a good woman all the same--was so fixed that she
couldn't give him any family, and he had to leave her. He loved her
quite a little, too; but for reasons of state he had to have children.
When the kings of Europe heard of this trouble, they came to blows over
the question who should give him a wife. He finally married, they told
us, an Austrian woman. She was a daughter of Caesar's--a man of ancient
times who is much talked about, not only in our country, where they say
he made everything, but in Europe. It's true, anyhow, that I have myself
been on the Danube, and have seen there the remains of a bridge that
this man Caesar built. It appears that he was a relative of Napoleon's
in Rome, and that's why the Emperor had a right to take the inheritance
there for his son.

Well, after his marriage, when there was a holiday for the whole world,
and when he let the people off ten years' taxes (which were collected
all the same, because the tax-gatherers didn't pay any attention to what
he said), his wife had a little boy who was King of Rome. That was a
thing which had never been seen on earth before--a child born king while
his father was still living. A balloon was sent up in Paris to carry the
news to Rome, and it made the whole distance in a single day. Now will
any of you tell me that that was natural? Never! It had been so written
on high.

Well, next comes the Emperor of Russia. He had once been Napoleon's
friend; but he got angry because our Emperor didn't marry a Russian
woman. So he backs up our enemies the English. Napoleon had long
intended to pay his respects to those English ducks in their own nests,
but something had always happened to prevent, and it was now high time
to make an end of them. So he finally got angry himself, and said to us:
"Soldiers! You have been masters of all the capitals of Europe except
Moscow, which is the ally of England. In order to conquer London, as
well as the Indies, which belong to London, I find it