y describe. For the
Bishop has what may be denominated a single-tract mind. He undoubtedly
imagines that we will submit tamely to this outrage. He has surrounded
us with guards. He expects us to be meek. In my experience, the meek
inherit the dearth. Let us not be meek!"

There was a shout of applause, and Quimbleton's salient of horse-hair
beard waved triumphantly as he gathered strength. His burly figure in
the lilac upholstering dominated the audience. He went on:

"And what is our crime? That we have nourished, in the privacy of our
own intellects, treasonable thoughts or desires concerning alcohol!
Gentlemen, it is the first principle of common law that a man cannot be
indicted for thinking a crime. There must be some overt act, some
evidence of illegal intention. Can a man be deprived of freedom for
carrying concealed thoughts? If so, we might as well abolish the human
mind itself. Which Bishop Chuff and his flunkeys would gladly do, I
doubt not, for they themselves would lose nothing thereby."

Vigorous clapping greeted this sally.

"Now, gentlemen," cried Quimbleton, "though we follow a lost cause, and
even though the gooseberry and the raisin and the apple be doomed, let
us see it through with gallantry! The enemy has mobilized dreadful
engines of war against us. Let us retort in kind. He has tanks in the
field--let us retort with tankards. They tell me there is a warship in
the offing, to shell us into submission. Very well: if he has gobs, let
us retort with goblets. If he has deacons, let us parry him with
decanters. Chuff has put us here under the pretext of being drunk. Very
well: then let us BE drunk. Let us go down in our cups, not in our
saucers. Where there's a swill, there's a way! Let us be sot in our
ways," he added, sotto voce.

Terrific uproar followed this fine outburst. Quimbleton had to calm the
frenzy by gesturing for silence.

"I hear some natural queries," he said. "Some one asks 'How?' To this I
shall presently explain 'Here's how.' Bear with me a moment.

"My friends, it would be idle for us to attempt the great task before
us relying merely on ourselves. In such great crises it is necessary to
call upon a Higher Power for strength and succor. This is no mere
brawl, no haphazard scuffle: it is the battle-ground--if I were
jocosely minded I might say it is the bottle-ground--of a great
principle. If, gentlemen, I wished to harrow your souls, I would ask
you to hark back in memory to