as though expecting a little applause, and
Theodolinda murmured an encouraging "Here, here."

With rekindled eye he resumed.

"Alcohol, I say, will never be more than a memory. Yet even a memory
must be kept alive. The great tradition must not die. For the very sake
of antiquarian accuracy, for the instruction of posterity, some exact
record must be kept of the influence of alcohol upon the human soul.
How can this be preserved? Not in books, not in the dead mummies of a
museum. No, not in dead mummies, indeed, but in living rummies. That
brings me to my great idea, which I have long cherished.

"I propose, my dear friends, that in some appropriate shrine,
surrounded by all the authentic trappings and utensils, some chosen
individual be maintained at the public charge, to exhibit for the
contemplation of a drouthing world the immortal flame of intoxication.
He will be known, without soft concealments, as the Perpetual Souse. In
his little bar, served by austere attendants, he will be kept in a
state of gentle exhilaration. Nothing gross, nothing unseemly, I
insist! In that state of sweetly glowing mind and heart, in that
ineffable blossoming of all the nobler qualities of human dignity, this
priest of alcohol will represent and perpetuate the virtues of the
grape. Booze, in the general sense, will have gone West, but ah how
fair and ruddy a sunset will it have in the person of this its vicar!
There he will live, visited, studied, revered, a living memorial. There
he will live, perpetually in a mellow fume of bliss, trailing clouds of
glory, as if--as some poet says,

As if his whole vocation
Were endless intoxication.

And now, my friends--not to weary you with the minor details of this
far-reaching proposal--let me come to the point. For so gravely
responsible a post, for an office so representative of the ideals and
ambitions of millions, the choice cannot be cast haphazard. The choice
must fall upon one qualified, confirmed, consecrated to this end. This
deeply significant office must be conferred by the people themselves.
It must be conferred by popular election. Candidates must be nominated,
must stump the country explaining their qualifications. And let me say
that, upon looking over the whole field, I see one man, who by the jury
of his peers--or shall I say by the jury of his beers?--is supremely
fitted for this post. It is my intention to nominate Mr. Dunraven Bleak
for the office of Perpetual So