The train was seen speeding toward us.

Better: We saw the train speeding toward us.

Exercise:

1. Their minds were changed frequently as to what profession
should be taken up by them.

2. A gun should be examined and oiled well before a hunter
starts.

3. Finally the serenaders were recognized.

4. In athletics a man is developed physically.

5. If a man uses slang constantly, a good impression is not
made.

=Effective Repetition=

=47a. The simplest and most natural way to emphasize a word or an idea is
to repeat it.= The Bible is the best standard of simplicity and dignity
in our language, and the Bible uses repetition constantly. A word or
idea that is repeated must, of course, be important enough to deserve
emphasis.

Fairly emphatic: He works and toils and labors, but he seems
never to get anywhere.

Very emphatic: Work, work, work, all he does is work, and still
he seems never to get anywhere.

Fairly emphatic: How did the general meet this new menace? He
withdrew before it!

Very emphatic: How did the general meet this new menace? He
withdrew! He retreated! He ran away!

Homely but emphatic: "I went under," said the old salt; "bows,
gunnels, and starn--all under."

Deliberately too emphatic: Everywhere we hear of
efficiency--efficiency experts, efficiency bureaus, efficiency
methods, in the office, in the school, in the home--until one
longs to fly to some savage island beyond the reach of inhuman
modern science.

=b. Not only words, but an entire grammatical structure may be repeated
on a large scale for emphasis.=

Weak: We hope that this shipment will reach you in good
condition, and that you will favor us with other orders in the
future, which will be given prompt and courteous attention.
[This sentence is flimsy and spineless because the writer had a
timid reluctance to repeat.]

Strong: We hope that this shipment will reach you in good
condition. We believe that the quality of our goods will induce
you to send us a second order. We assure you that such an order
will receive prompt and courteous attention. [Note the emphasis
derived from the resolute march of the expressions _We hope_,
_We believe_, _We assure_.]

Emphatic: Through the patience, the courage, the high character
of Alfred th