d a shocking lack of respect for the upper and middle
classes! We were not one class in those times.

May it all come back to us soon--all the old chatter! Come back to us,
Sir THOMAS LIPTON and the Cup! Come back to us, GLOOMY DEAN! Come back
to us, Ninepence for Fourpence. Come back to us, "dead certs" and "also
rans." Come back golf and motor-cars. Come back, Wicked Government and
Wicked Opposition. Life is too painfully interesting now. I long to be
bored again.

But it must be boredom with honour.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S WAR CORRESPONDENCE.

NEW STYLE.

Hearing that the German troops were advancing from the North-East along
the line Malines--Mons--Mezieres--Soissons--Verdun--Belfort, I
immediately made off due South-West for a reason I may not give. I
managed with the utmost difficulty to find someone to carry my kit, but
at length persuaded an old peasant whom I found weeding (probably the
last weeds he would ever dig) to act as my courier, and even then I had
to resort to the vulgar strategy of pretending to be a Uhlan.

We joined the throng boarding an old motor-bus (6-1/2 h.p.). There was
nothing to show to outward appearance that the dreaded Germans were
within 250 miles of the little townlet where I found myself (name
suppressed). After booking my room at the only decent hotel in the
place, I cast about for something to eat. Alas, the only eatables were
roast duck and apple tart (the last probably we should ever see). I then
unpacked my kit, and after folding my riding breeches I placed them
under the mattress, wondering when I should take them out again. It is
curious how even the simplest necessities of life mechanically assert
themselves in the midst of the most strenuous and adventurous
circumstances.

Troops, troops, troops, and yet again troops. And people still go on
living their daily lives. I saw two men seated in a _cafe_ playing
draughts, and they quarrelled over a move as though they had never heard
tell of the KAISER. Such is _la guerre_. I am rapidly polishing up my
French which I learnt at ----, how many years ago I may not say.

We know little of the German plans, and that much it is useless for me
to communicate as the Censor is stopping all news of any interest. But
this we do know here in our little town of ---- that the KAISER will
undoubtedly defeat the English armies if he can. To-day I saw an officer
who had been sent back to count the milk-cans