nded, had
been graciously pleased to offer us the splendid hospitality of that
renowned mansion. What further happened here, neither I nor either of
my friends can tell. Our recollections from this period till next
morning are doubtful and indistinct. All we can state for certain is,
that yesterday morning we awoke, the three of us, in a most wretched
state, in a strange, nasty place. We learn soon after from a gentleman
in a cocked hat, who came to visit us on business, that the imperial
hospitality which we had claimed last night had indeed been extended to
us--only in the _violon_, instead of the Elysee. Our phantom guest was
gone: he would alway, somehow sneak away in the morning, when there was
nothing left for him to drink--the guzzling villain!

"The gentleman in the cocked-hat pressingly invited us to pay a visit to
the Commissaire du Quartier. That formidable functionary received us
with the customary French-polished veneer of urbanity which, as a rule,
constitutes the _suaviter in modo_ of the higher class of Gallic
officials. He read us a severe lecture, however, upon the alleged
impropriety of our conduct; and when I ventured to protest that it was
not to us the blame ought to be imputed, but to the _quatrieme_, he
mistook my meaning, and, ere I could explain myself, he cut me short
with a polite remark that the French used the cardinal instead of the
ordinal numbers in stating the days of the month, with the exception of
the first, and that he had had too much trouble with our countrymen (he
took us for Yankees!) on the 4th of July, to be disposed to look with an
over-lenient eye upon the vagaries we had chosen to commit on the 4th of
September, which he supposed was another great national day with us. He
would, however, let us off this time with a simple reprimand, upon
payment of one hundred francs, compensation for damage done to the
coach--drunken cabby having turned up, of course, to testify against us.
Well, we paid the money, and handed the worthy magistrate twenty francs
besides, for the benefit of the poor, by way of acknowledgment for the
imperial hospitality we had enjoyed. We were then allowed to depart in
peace.

"Now, you'll hardly believe it, I dare say, but it is the truth
notwithstanding, that we three, who have been fast friends for years,
actually began to quarrel among ourselves now, mutually imputing to one
another the blame of all our misadventures and misfortunes since our
arrival i