? You are
welcome. But just tell me this. Why did you come in, and how?"

"I came in because I am being chased," said Jones. "It's not the law, I
reckon I'm an honest citizen--in purpose, anyhow, and as to how I came
in I wanted a crust of bread and rang at your hall door."

"Servants don't sleep here," said Kellerman. "Cook snores, bungalow like
a fiddle for conveying sounds, come here for sleep and rest. They sleep
at a cottage down the road."

"So?" said Jones. "Well, getting no reply I looked in at the window, saw
the supper, and came in."

"That's just the sort of thing that might occur in a photo play," said
Kellerman. "When I saw you, as I stepped in, sitting quietly at supper
the situation struck me at once."

"You call that a situation," said Jones. "It's bald to some of the
situations I have been in for the last God knows how long."

"You interest me," said Kellerman, helping himself to cheese. "You talk
with such entire conviction of the value of your goods."

"How do you mean the value of my goods?"

"Your situations, if you like the term better. Don't you know that good
situations are rarer than diamonds and more valuable? Have you ever read
Pickwick?"

"Yep."

"Then you can guess what I mean. Situations don't occur in real life,
they have to be dug for in the diamond fields of the mind and--"

"Situations don't occur in real life!" said Jones. "Don't they--now, see
here, I've had supper with you and in return for your hospitality I'll
tell you every thing that's happened to me if you'll hear it. I guess
I'll shatter your illusions. I'll give you a sample: I belong to the
London Senior Conservative Club and yet I don't. I have the swellest
house in London yet it doesn't belong to me. I'm worth one million and
eight thousand pounds, yet the other day I had to steal a few
sovereigns, but the law could not touch me for stealing them. I have an
uncle who is a duke yet I am no relation to him. Sounds crazy, doesn't
it, all the same it's fact. I don't mind telling you the whole thing if
you care to hear it. I won't give you the right names because there's a
woman in the case, but I bet I'll lift your hair."

Kellerman did not seem elated.

"I don't mind listening to your story," said he, "on one condition."

"What's that?"

"That you will not be offended if I switch you off if the thing palls
and hand you your hat, for I must tell you that though I came down here
to get sleep, I do most of my s