is mother, as well
as finding his mind grow easier as he went on. Besides, he had not to
care for the writing; for he had met Mr. Tooke by the church, and had
got his leave to send his letter without anybody's looking at it, as he
had something very particular to say. He wrote,--

"Dear Mother,--

"It is Saturday afternoon, and I have come home from the meadows
before the rest, to tell you something that has made me very
uneasy. If I had told anybody in the world who pulled me off the
wall, it should and would have been you,--that night after it
happened: and I am afraid I should have told you, if you had not
prevented it: for I find I am not to be trusted when I am talking
with anybody I love very much. I have not told yet: but I should
have told Dale if Holt had not run up at the very moment. It makes
me very unhappy,--almost as much as if I had let it out: for how do
I know but that I may tell a hundred times over in my life, if I
could forget so soon? I shall be afraid of loving anybody very
much, and talking with them alone, as long as I live. I never felt
the least afraid of telling till to-day; and you cannot think how
unhappy it makes me. And then, the thing that provoked me to tell
was that boy's being surly to me, and glad that I was in disgrace
this morning, for doing my lessons badly all this week,--the very
thing that should have made me particularly careful how I behaved
to him; for his pulling me off the wall was by accident, after all.
Everything has gone wrong to-day; and I am very unhappy, and I feel
as if I should never be sure of anything again; and so I write to
you. You told me you expected me not to fail; and you see I have;
and the next thing is that I must tell you of it.

"Your affectionate son,
"HUGH PROCTOR.

"P.S. Phil has been very kind about my lessons, till this week
[_interlined_], when he has been very busy.

"P.S. If you should answer this, please put 'private' outside, or
at the top; and then Mr. Tooke will not read it, nor anybody. But I
know you are very busy always; so I do not quite expect an answer."

When the letter was finished and closed, Hugh felt a good deal relieved:
but still not happy. He had opened his heart to the best friend he had
in this world: but he still felt grievously humbled for the present, and
alarmed for