"'I don't believe as there's anything will touch it,' he says, at last.
'I forgot all about that.'

"'Do you mean to say,' bawls Bill, 'that we've got to be black all the
rest of our life?'

"'Cert'nly not,' ses the carpenter, indignantly, 'it'll wear off in
time; shaving every morning 'll 'elp it, I should say.'

"'I'll get my razor now,' ses Bill, in a awful voice; 'don't let 'im go,
Bob. I'll 'ack 'is head orf.'

"He actually went off an' got his razor, but, o' course, we jumped out
o' our bunks and got between 'em and told him plainly that it was not
to be, and then we set 'em down and tried everything we could think of,
from butter and linseed oil to cold tea-leaves used as a poultice, and
all it did was to make 'em shinier an' shinier.

"'It's no good, I tell you,' ses the carpenter, 'it's the most lasting
black I know. If I told you how much that stuff is a can, you wouldn't
believe me.'

"'Well, you're in it,' ses Bill, his voice all of a tremble; 'you done
it so as we could knock the mate about. Whatever's done to us'll be done
to you too.'

"'I don't think turps'll touch it,' ses the carpenter, getting up, 'but
we'll 'ave a try.'

"He went and fetched the can and poured some out on a bit o' rag and
told Bill to dab his face with it. Bill give a dab, and the next moment
he rushed over with a scream and buried his head in a shirt what Simmons
was wearing at the time and began to wipe his face with it. Then he left
the flustered Simmons an' shoved another chap away from the bucket and
buried his face in it and kicked and carried on like a madman. Then 'e
jumped into his bunk again and buried 'is face in the clothes and rocked
hisself and moaned as if he was dying.

"'Don't you use it, Bob,' he ses, at last

"''Tain't likely,' ses Bob. 'It's a good thing you tried it fust, Bill.'

"''Ave they tried holy-stone?' ses a voice from a bunk.

"'No, they ain't,' ses Bob, snappishly, 'and, what's more, they ain't
goin' to.'

"Both o' their tempers was so bad that we let the subject drop while
we was at breakfast. The orkard persition of affairs could no longer be
disregarded. Fust one chap threw out a 'int and then another, gradually
getting a little stronger and stronger, until Bill turned round in a
uncomfortable way and requested of us to leave off talking with our
mouths full and speak up like Englishmen wot we meant.

"'You see, it's this way, Bill,' ses Joe, soft-like. 'As soon as the
mate sees y