ubbub, and bade
fair to dissolve as unceremoniously as some ward political meetings do,
my staid old library chair began to talk, looking very learned at the
same time.

"Mr. President," said he, "I regret the turn affairs have taken. The race
of chairs is a very honorable one. A chair is an insignia of honor, as I
might prove by many eminent authorities. When human beings wish to call
some one to the presidency of a meeting, they move that the Hon. Jonathan
Wire-worker be called to _the chair_. And then they call him the
_chair_-man. Now it is an honor to be a chair, whether it be a parlor
chair, bottomed with damask satin, or a hair-seat chair, or a cane-seat
chair, a high chair, or a baby's rocking chair, or a superannuated chair
in a garret, or an easy chair, or a wooden-bottomed chair, or a learned
library chair, like myself. I tell you, sir, it is an honor to be a
chair. I am proud of the fact that I am a chair. [Cries of hear! hear!!]

"And now, sir, we are each adapted to our station. What kind of a kitchen
chair would one of these high-headed, damask satin parlor gentlemen make?
How would they stand washtubs and boot heels? And what sort of a looking
parlor chair would my friend, Mr. Wooden Bottom, be? Even if he were new,
and covered with black varnish, and had a yellow rose on his forehead,
how would he look among the pictures, and on the nice parlor carpet?

"Now let us each stick to our several stations, and not degrade ourselves
by learning the evil and discontented habits of human beings, each one of
whom thinks his lot the hardest."

I felt a little provoked at this last remark, and was going to get up and
dissolve the meeting, but the library chair said something about what a
glorious thing it was to be a chair, and then they all applauded, damask
satins, wooden bottoms, and all; and then everything was in a whirl, and
I rubbed my eyes, and the sewing chair sat just as it was at first, with
the pile of magazines on it, and I peeped into the parlor, and the damask
satins were in their places as stiff as ever. How they all got back in
their places so quickly I couldn't tell. I went into the dining-room and
found Allegra perched on the high chair, lashing two of the cane-seat
ones that were thrown down for horses.

And I rubbed my eyes again,--I must have slept.

WHAT THE TEA-KETTLE SAID.

About the time the chairs had a talk together, I believe I told you.
Well, ever