t. He
wished that somebody had invented a specific for spooks--something that
would make the ghosts come out of the house and die in the yard. He
wondered if he could not tempt the ghosts to run in debt, so that he
might get the sheriff to help him. He wondered also whether the ghosts
could not be overcome with strong drink--a dissipated spook, a spook
with delirium tremens, might be committed to the inebriate asylum. But
none of these things seemed feasible."

"What did he do?" interrupted Dear Jones. "The learned counsel will
please speak to the point."

"You will regret this unseemly haste," said Uncle Larry, gravely, "when
you know what really happened."

"What was it, Uncle Larry?" asked Baby Van Rensselaer. "I'm all
impatience."

And Uncle Larry proceeded:

"Eliphalet went down to the little old house at Salem, and as soon as
the clock struck twelve the rival ghosts began wrangling as before.
Raps here, there, and everywhere, ringing bells, banging tambourines,
strumming banjos sailing about the room, and all the other
manifestations and materializations followed one another just as they
had the summer before. The only difference Eliphalet could detect was a
stronger flavor in the spectral profanity; and this, of course, was
only a vague impression, for he did not actually hear a single word. He
waited awhile in patience, listening and watching. Of course he never
saw either of the ghosts, because neither of them could appear to him.
At last he got his dander up, and he thought it was about time to
interfere, so he rapped on the table, and asked for silence. As soon as
he felt that the spooks were listening to him he explained the
situation to them. He told them he was in love, and that he could not
marry unless they vacated the house. He appealed to them as old
friends, and he laid claim to their gratitude. The titular ghost had
been sheltered by the Duncan family for hundreds of years, and the
domiciliary ghost had had free lodging in the little old house at Salem
for nearly two centuries. He implored them to settle their differences,
and to get him out of his difficulty at once. He suggested that they
had better fight it out then and there, and see who was master. He had
brought down with him all needful weapons. And he pulled out his
valise, and spread on the table a pair of navy revolvers, a pair of
shot-guns, a pair of duelling-swords, and a couple of bowie-knives. He
offered to serve as second for bo