ate imperialism from the standpoint of wider domain.
Indeed I am disposed to dodge the question of imperialism, as I dodged
the money question in Colorado when the question was the issue in
politics. I gave three addresses for the Boulder, Colorado, Chautauqua
when the money question was the all-absorbing one in the west. At the
close of my second address I was introduced to the superintendent of
the railroad that runs over the Switzerland trail. He said: "I
understand your wife is here, and I will be pleased to have you and
Mrs. Bain as my guests tomorrow." I knew that meant a free ride and I
accepted. The next morning we were at the station at the appointed
hour and after a wonderful ride mid scenic grandeur up to where eagles
nest, and blizzards hatch out their young, our host said: "I want you
to have the most thrilling ride you ever had, and at the next station
be ready to leave the train." As the brakes gripped the wheels, and
the train rested on the eye-brow of the mountain height, we stepped
off. A hand car was taken from the baggage car and the train moved on
up the trail. While Mrs. Bain was captivated by the mountains, I was
looking at that hand car, without any handles on it, a flat truck with
four wheels. The superintendent said: "Will you help me lift this on
to the track?" I said: "Yes, but what are you going to do with it?"
When he said: "Going down the mountain to where we came from," I said,
"What will we hold to?" "To each other," he replied, and I could see
he was enjoying Mrs. Bain's placidness and my apprehension of trouble
ahead.

Determined to sustain Kentucky's reputation for courage I said no
more, but hoped Mrs. Bain would come to my relief since she knew her
husband was given to dizziness when riding backwards or swinging round
sudden curves. She said: "Isn't this a grand sight?" I said: "Yes,
it's grand, but we are going down the mountain on this hand car."
"That will be fine," was all the comfort she gave me.

Though I have traveled close to a million miles behind the iron horse
I cannot ride backwards on a railroad train. In that respect I am like
the husband who when about to die said to his wife: "I want to make a
special request of you, and that is, see that I am buried face down;
it always did make me sick to travel backwards." When a boy I could
not swing as could other boys. My head is not level on my shoulders. I
have never crossed the ocean and never will. I cannot ride the rollin