y that; he'll be aquil to the best o' thim: still, Denis,
I'd rather, whin I want to pronounce upon colors, that he'd let me keep
my eyes open."

"Ay, but he did it out o' the books, man alive; an' there's no goin'
beyant thim. Sure he could prove it out of the Divinity, if you went
to that. An' what is still more, he could, by shuttin' your eyes, in the
same way prove black to be white, an' white black, jist as asy."

"Surely myself doesn't doubt it. I suppose, by shuttin' my eyes, the
same lad could prove anything to me."

"But, Dinny, avourneen, you didn't prove Phadrick to be an ass yit.
Will you do that by histhory, too, Dinny, or by the norrations of
Illocution?"

"Father, I'm surprised at your gross imperception. Why, man, if you
were not a _rara avis_ of somnolency, a man of most frolicsome
determinations, you'd be able to see that I've proved Phadrick to be an
ass already."

"Throth, I deny that you did; there wasn't a word about my bein' an
ass, in the last discoorse. It was all upon the differ atween black an'
white."

"Oh, how I scorn your gravity, man! _Ignorantia_, as I said, is your
date an' superscription; an' when you die, you ought to go an' engage
a stone-cutter to carve you a headstone, an' make him write on it, _Hic
jacet Ignorantius Redivicus_. An' the translation of that is, accordin'
to Publius Virgilius Maro--'here lies a quadruped who didn't know the
differ atween black an' white.'"

"Well, by the livin', Dinny, I dunna where you get all this deep
readin'."

"Sure he gets it all in the Dixonary."

"Bedad, that Dixonary must be a fine book entirely, to thim that
undherstand it."

"But, Dinny, will you tell Phadrick the Case of Conscience atween Barny
Branagan's two goats an' Parra Ghastha's mare?"

"Fadher, if you were a grammarian, I'd castigate your incompatability as
it desarves--I'd lay the scourge o' syntax upon you, as no man ever
got it since the invintion o' the nine parts of speech. By what rule of
logic can you say that aither Barny Branagan's goats or Parra Ghastha's
mare had a conscience? I tell you it wasn't they had the conscience,
but the divine who decided the difficulty. Phadrick, lie down till I
illusthrate."

"How is that, Dinny? I can hear you sittin'."

"Lie down, you reptile, or I shall decline the narration altogether."

"Arra, lie down, Phadrick; sure he only wants to show you the rason o'
the thing."

"Well, well; I'm down. Now Dinny, don't let your