he
cheapest possible form of wit; and avoid sarcasm. The talent for being
sarcastic is a most dangerous one. 'No one ever knew a sarcastic woman
who could keep friends. The temptation to be bright and interesting and
to attract attention by the use of sarcasm is very strong, for nearly
all will be interested in it and enjoy it for a little. But were I
obliged to choose between sarcasm and dullness in a young girl, I should
prefer dullness. Happily, this is not a necessary alternative.

4. She must avoid a kind of joking and badinage that should never be
heard among well-bred young people in society--that about courtship and
marriage. Much harm, much blunting of fine sensibilities, much
destruction of that delicate modesty which is the priceless dower of
young girlhood, comes of such jesting and joking where it is permitted
without restraint or reproof. A young girl may not be called upon to
reprove it, but she certainly can shun the company of those who are
given to such vulgarity (for no other term will rightly describe it),
and she can certainly refrain from joining in any conversation of this
description.

Always remember that to be a good converser you must be a good listener.
Very often people acquire a pleasant reputation and popularity in
society by the exercise of this talent alone--that of listening with
attention and interest to what other people say. Be especially careful
to avoid interrupting one who is speaking. Many a fine and noble
thought, many an interesting discussion, is broken off and lost by the
irrelevant interruption of some thoughtless person. One reason why the
art of conversation has so degenerated in these days is that so few have
a real interest in hearing the fine thoughts of good thinker and
talkers. So many people want to talk about themselves, or their affairs,
that it is in many circles almost an impossibility to maintain a high
and elevating conversation. Until years and experience, as well as wide
reading and information, have given you the right to express freely your
opinions in society, it will be well to listen a great deal more than
you speak, especially when in the company of your elders. Avoid all
sentimentality, or the discussion of subjects that would expose the
private and sacred feelings of the heart. Do not quote poetry; do not
ask people's opinions on delicate and individual questions. I have heard
a young boarding-school graduate embarrass a whole room-full of
excellent