your saddle hind-side to. You
would if you could, that's one thing sure. How do you expect a horse to
be sensible or quiet when he knows that he isn't saddled right? Any
horse knows that much, and whether he has an ass for a rider. I'd kick
and bite too if I were some of these horses, having a lot of damned
fools and wasters to pack all over the country. Loosen that belt and
fasten it right" (there might be nothing wrong with it) "and move your
saddle up. Do you want to sit over the horse's rump?"

Then would come the fateful moment of mounting. There was of course the
accepted and perfect way--his way: left foot in stirrup, an easy
balanced spring and light descent into the seat. One should be able to
slip the right foot into the right stirrup with the same motion of
mounting. But imagine fifty, sixty, seventy men, all sizes, weights and
differing conditions of health and mood. A number of these people had
never ridden a horse before coming here and were as nervous and
frightened as children. Such mounts! Such fumbling around, once they
were in their saddles, for the right stirrup! And all the while Culhane
would be sitting out front like an army captain on the only decent steed
in the place, eyeing us with a look of infinite and weary contempt that
served to increase our troubles a thousandfold.

"Well, you're all on, are you? You all do it so gracefully I like to sit
here and admire you. Hulbert there throws his leg over his horse's back
so artistically that he almost kicks his teeth out. And Effingham does
his best to fall off on the other side. And where's Itzky? I don't even
see him. Oh, yes, there he is. Well" (this to Itzky, frantically
endeavoring to get one fat foot in a stirrup and pull himself up), "what
about you? Can't you get your leg that high? Here's a man who for
twenty-five years has been running a cloak-and-suit business and
employing five hundred people, but he can't get on a horse! Imagine!
Five hundred people dependent on that for their living!" (At this point,
say, Itzky succeeds in mounting.) "Well, he's actually on! Now see if
you can stick while we ride a block or two. You'll find the right
stirrup, Itzky, just a little forward of your horse's belly on the right
side--see? A fine bunch this is to lead out through a gentleman's
country! Hell, no wonder I've got a bad reputation throughout this
section! Well, forward, and see if you can keep from falling off."

Then we were out through the st