hand, is entirely due to ignorance of the cost.

***

Giving evidence at Marylebone against a mysterious foreigner charged
with using a forged identity book, the police said they did not know
the real name and address of the man. The Bench decided to obviate the
difficulty in the matter of the address.

***

In a Liverpool bankruptcy case last week the debtor stated that he
had lost six hundred pounds in one day rabbit-coursing. The Receiver
pointed out that he could have almost bought a new set of rabbits for
that.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE PICTURE OF THE YEAR.

PROBABLE EFFECT AT THIS YEAR'S ACADEMY EXHIBITION OF THE ELECTION OF
SIR ASTON WEBB, THE FAMOUS ARCHITECT, TO THE PRESIDENCY.]

* * * * *

From a list of wedding presents:--

"Case of sauce ladies from Mr. W. ----."--_Provincial Paper_.

No doubt he was glad to be rid of them.

* * * * *

"The ---- National Kitchen has had to close down.... The great
majority of the patrons were Army Pap Corps."

Who presumably required only liquid refreshment.

* * * * *

"The German Government has protested to Russia against the
'criminal interference' of olsheviks in the internal affairs
of Germany."--_Daily Mail_.

Much correspondence will now doubtless take place, as it seems evident
that the Bolsheviks have sent their initial letter in reply.

* * * * *

GETTING OUT.

"If you belong to any of the following classes," said the
Demobilisation advertisement, "do nothing." So Lieut. William Smith
did nothing.

After doing nothing for some weeks he met a friend who said, "Hallo,
aren't you out yet?"

"Not yet," said William, looking at his spurs.

"Well, you ought to _do_ something."

So Lieut. William Smith decided to do something. He was a
pivotal-man and a slip-man and a one-man-business and a
twenty-eight-days-in-hospital man and a W.O. letter ZXY/999 man.
Accordingly he wrote to the War Office and told them so.

It was, of course, a little confusing for the authorities. Just as
they began to see their way to getting him out as a pivotal man,
somebody would decide that it was quicker to demobilise him as a
one-man-business; and when this was nearly done, then somebody else
would point out that it was really much neater to reinstate him as a
slip