tion of our legitimate sleep. We rose early in
Kimberley--long before the lark--to our credit be it sung; but four
o'clock was too far removed from breakfast time, and four was commonly
the hour chosen by the churlish Boers to commence operations throughout
the tedious months of our investment. The whiz and the explosion were
not invariably audible, but the boom was always heard. Our "friends"
rarely missed making a noise, and, to secure proper rest, this
break-of-day _penchant_ sent people early to bed. A big gun had been
placed by the enemy on the top of Wimbleton Ridge, wherefrom--as our
Garrison Orders grandiloquently stated--"the strength of the fortress of
Kimberley was tested." The shells landed safely on the bare veld, and
even when the dissatisfied gunners brought their gun closer, no harm
was done. Wimbleton was three or four miles away, and we were not
therefore in a position to reciprocate the attentions we received from
it. Another assault was subsequently made on the Premier fort. Our
seven-pounders were this time able to do a bit of bowling, and a ball
was hurled at the enemy's wickets that stopped play for the day.

There was considerable elation in town at the non-success of the Boer as
an artillerist, and the belief was entertained that his stock of
ammunition would soon be blown to the winds. Nearly a hundred shells had
been thrown at us, without angering or damaging anyone or anything
save--a cook and his cooking-pot! The cook resided in a redoubt; his pot
had had the lid broken, and worse still, the stew it covered driven
through the bottom of the utensil, to be incinerated in the blaze
beneath; and he vowed--well, the profanity entwined in his vow of
vengeance will not admit of its publication. The whole bombardment was a
grand joke. In the Law Courts, where the Criminal Sessions were being
conducted in the ordinary way, the lawyers waxed witty. The witnesses
responded. Even the prisoners laughed sorrowfully as each abortive boom
rang out. It was a superb joke. The judge let fall some funny things and
the jury smiled--without prejudice. His lordship said it was a novel
experience for him, as indeed it was for all of us, who were to live and
learn that--the last laugher laughs best.

The results of the Colonel's mild and forbearing efforts to keep the
natives in check were not satisfactory. The exuberance of the Kafirs
knew no bounds; they continued to glory in intoxication, and to "do" the
_breadt