s for the old gentleman,
the victim of this elaborate practical joke, he glared at us all round,
swore that it was a premeditated insult from beginning to end, and,
swelling with suppressed rage, flung himself back into his corner, and
looked resolutely in the opposite direction.

By this time we were half-way to Paris, and the student, satisfied with
his success, packed up his folio, brought out a great meerschaum with a
snaky tube, and smoked like a factory-chimney.

When we alighted, it was nearly five o'clock.

"What shall we do next?" said Dalrymple, pulling drearily at his
moustache. "I am so deuced dull to-day that I am ashamed to ask anybody
to do me the charity to dine with me--especially a _bon garcon_ like
Herr Mueller."

"Don't be ashamed," said the student, laughingly, "I would dine with
Pluto himself, if the dishes were good and my appetite as sharp
as to-day."

"_Allons_, then! Where shall we go; to the _Trois Freres_, or the
_Moulin Rouge_, or the _Maison Doree_?"

"The _Trois Freres_" said Mueller, with the air of one who deliberates on
the fate of nations, "has the disadvantage of being situated in the
Palais Royal, where the band still continues to play at half-past five
every afternoon. Now, music should come on with the sweets and the
champagne. It is not appropriate with soup or fish, and it distracts
one's attention if injudiciously administered with the made dishes,"

"True. Then shall we try the _Moulin Rouge_?"

Mueller shook his head.

"At the _Moulin Rouge_" said he, gravely, "one can breakfast well; but
their dinners are stereotyped. For the last ten years they have not
added a new dish to their _carte_; and the discovery of a new dish, says
Brillat Savarin, is of more importance to the human race than the
discovery of a new planet. No--I should not vote for the
_Moulin Rouge_."

"Well, then, Vefours, Very's, the Cafe Anglais?"

"Vefours is traditional; the Cafe Anglais is infested with English; and
at Very's, which is otherwise a meritorious establishment, one's
digestion is disturbed by the sight of omnivorous provincials, who drink
champagne with the _roti_, and eat melon at dessert."

Dalrymple laughed outright.

"At this rate," said he, "we shall get no dinner at all! What is to
become of us, if neither Very's, nor the _Trois Freres_, nor the _Moulin
Rouge_, nor the _Maison Doree_...."

"_Halte-la!"_ interrupted the student, theatrically; "for by my halidom,
sirs, I s